Two ideas for receiving Mentoring without ever meeting a mentor

Posted on June 24, 2016June 22, 2016 by Matthew Laker

Mentoring is a powerful tool in our life and it can help us grow in a number of areas. For some finding a mentor is a challenge. A few years ago I realized that there is a different type of mentoring available. I realized I could pull wisdom from people I have never met.

There are two tools I use to be mentored by people I have never met.

1) Books

We live in an incredible time where information is readily available. In my journey, I read books that are not just in my field of work but many outside of it. For example, reading a book from someone who is in a field that has crossover elements can be very helpful in your life.

Since 2010, I have increased my reading to about a book a month. I tend to read a lot on my kindle app now. I do this because I have no room on my physical book shelf anymore and I like the highlighting elements. I often take those and put them into my Evernote and it becomes searchable.

Check out books I have read this year here

I would also recommend your local library if you have one. These are hidden gems in our towns and cities that many do not take advantage of. My family started using the local library more to save money on buying books and space problems.

Books can be a great way to have a mentor without ever meeting with a mentor.

2) Podcast

When I started work in Ottawa I started listening more and more to a range of podcasts. As I would walk from here to there I would listen. At first, it was people from my field of work. Now I have increased the range of listening. I tend to favor leadership, business, and church related podcasts.

Podcasts and books need to serve as jumping off points. As you reflect upon what the authors are saying, allow that to stir thoughts about current situations and what you can and should apply.

On a side note, I started using the stitcher app which lets me listen to a range of podcasts all in one place.

Podcasts can be a great way to have a mentor without ever meeting with a mentor.

Mentoring is a powerful tool to help you grow and reach your goals. A physical person may not always be an option. Books and podcasts can be a good alternative as mentors instead of a physical mentor.

What great books have you read recently or podcast series do you follow?

In the last 5 years what books have been most influential to you?

4 Rewards for developing the habit of prayer

Posted on June 3, 2016June 2, 2016 by Matthew Laker

4 Rewards for developing the habit of prayer

“Of all the Spiritual disciplines prayer is the most central because it ushers us into perpetual communion with God the father”

(Richard Foster).

When we journey through the Spiritual discipline of prayer, it is important to remember the rewards of developing this habit. Remembering the “why” or reason, in this case for prayer, helps us to continue and maintain any habit.

Prayer at its core is about communing with Jesus. It is about walking to the everlasting fountain of living water and taking a drink.

Here are four rewards for developing and continuing in the habit of prayer.

Christ-likeness

This is about becoming who God created you to be. Through the power and work of the Holy Spirit, we are becoming like Jesus. As we spend time with him in prayer we are positioning ourselves to fully enter, engage, and experience the life Jesus’ death opened up for us.

Experiences of God’s grace in your life.

In Hebrews 4:16 the author reminds us that because of Jesus’ death and resurrection we can approach the throne of Jesus and receive grace and mercy for the journey we are in. Prayer becomes one of the roads we walk to experience God in our life.

Our souls become nourished.

In John 4 we read ¹³Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. ¹⁴But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” If we are to stay spiritually hydrated we are going to need to sit at the feet of Jesus and drink.

Release blessing to other people.

Many times in scripture we see Jesus praying for others, we see the church praying for others. Jesus calls us to pray that God the Father would send more workers because the harvest is ready. Praying for others is part of our journey with God. We join together with him in his work in the world. He invites us into this work and at one level, as we pray, it opens up the opportunity of blessing for others.

To enter, engage and experience the life you were created for continue in the habit of prayer.

5 Benefits of mentoring in the Church and life

Posted on May 20, 2016May 18, 2016 by Matthew Laker

Mentoring has had a big impact upon my life. I have had more informal mentoring than formal, but either way have appreciated those who have invested in me.

Together with the church community at Sunnyside Wesleyan Church in Ottawa, we wrestled on how to best produce systems of formal and informal mentoring/discipleship relationships. We saw mentoring as a way to walk with another person so as to support and encourage them in their faith. To put this into practice, we connected new believers with a mentor for one year as well as connected those who made steps of Baptism with a mentor. Some asked for a mentor to help work through a certain issue in their life. It was not without its challenges, but we have heard some great stories of people entering, engaging and experiencing the life God has called them to in a deeper way.

Each relationship had a start and end date and people on average met once a month. One of our challenges was we somehow combined the roles of life coaching, mentoring, and discipleship into one. Even with the challenges though, I still believe in the power of this type of mentoring.

No matter what you call it

I see five benefits of mentoring.

1. Reality check

This can be the biggest help we can give people when we invest in them. Helping people understand where they are at and where they need to go is foundational to mentorship/coaching/discipleship.

2. Talking it out is just good

I have seen this time and time again in my own life. As I talk through a situation with someone, it helps me process and bring a clarity of its own. Often the mentor does not even have to say much, just get the person talking and ask good questions.

3. Act like a Lighthouse

A mentor has the ability from life experience to help reveal things the mentee may not see at this point in their journey. The challenge is for the one being mentored to trust and evaluate the words of the mentor.

4. Investing in others, helps you grow.

Not everyone is ready to do full on mentoring, but everyone can invest in someone. As I have invested in others and watched others do it, I have seen that all individuals are challenged but they can always grow in faith and life.

Mark 10:45 “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

5. Great way to make disciples.

It may not be the most efficient or the fastest way of making disciples, however, when we look at the life of Jesus, he spent more time with 12, and even more time with 3 of that 12. I would be willing to bet some of the biggest impacts for the kingdom of God have come from smaller communities and one on ones. People spending time with people.

Do you want to experience the kingdom of God? Do you want to see the kingdom of God?

Then make time to invest in other people.

Jesus said “Teach them to obey the commands I have given.” One of the best ways I know of is one person leading and guiding another person. It is not going to happen fast and it is a journey.

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Do you have any questions about mentorship?

When Dreams Fail

Posted on May 13, 2016 by Matthew Laker

Thoughts for When a Dream Fails.

Have you ever put all of yourself into something only to have it close down?

I have been part of two different churches that have shut down in one form or another. In both of them, I had ideas and hopes of what it could be, in spite of the challenges that were there.

Although in different ways, closing them hurt me in ways difficult to describe. Yet, I am thankful for my time in both those churches. I know God led us there and it was where we needed to be. Only a year after the second one, I still feel the pain of loss in my life.

However, when dreams fail, your story is not over.

What to do when a dreams fail.

1. Check your view of what success or failure is.

Often people see the closing down of a dream as a fail. In a way I suppose it is. I resisted the branding of calling the closing of the churches a failure for a few reasons. The biggest was the successful moments in the midst of the challenges. How we define success will impact our next steps.

2. Check your expectations

Dreams are good and we need dreams. Sometimes the dream is better than the reality and that is the point. It is just a dream. Dreams can become reality but not without hard work. Often our expectations are what get us in trouble in life. In my life, it is the expectations I put on myself that are not realistic and hardest to deal with.

3. Give time for grief

This is the one I have underestimated. I experienced real grief and loss with the closing of the downtown congregation. As I watched those involved, I was not the only one experiencing grief. There needs to be space for reflection, learning, fun, and community to help get through it. For me, conversation with a counselor helped bring some perspective.

4. Dream again

This is about coming back to the core of who we are and called to be. Just because the dream did not work out how you or others thought, does not mean you give up. A year later the call from God in my life continues to stir in me.

Loss or so-called failure (again I cannot call it that), does not mean I cannot keep going. Perhaps you need a time of Sabbath to recover, but do not stop dreaming.

There are lessons I learned from the past season that will help me lead better in the present and future. To dream again means one gets back on the bike. It may be a different bike, but that is ok.

5. Celebrate.

Through this experience, one lesson I learned was the power of stories. In church life, we often do not celebrate enough. We need to find ways to do that and give thanks.

Not all dreams go how we think they will. Sometimes I wonder if God puts a dream in us just to direct us a certain way. The dream was never going to happen, as God had something else in mind.

I know for such a season it was the right choice to be where we were.

Often our life is more about seasons and chapters than one long continuous story. The season may be over but our life is not.

Get your sail up and catch the wind.

Thinking about Sabbath Rest

Posted on April 26, 2016 by Matthew Laker

In the summer of 2015 I had to take some leave time from work. It was a time for self-care and restoring. I remember sitting in a canoe with my fishing rods. Often when I fish the time is also filled with reflection and prayer. I remember asking God, what do you want me to do this summer? Should I read a book, or go somewhere, or do something? Then the thought came, do nothing, just sit with me. In that statement was the idea of sitting with Jesus, and taking a break from work.

Psalm 23:1-2 says “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.”

We live in a 24/7 world. I still have this small memory where things were closed one day a week. In my lifetime I have watched how in Canada the general workforce in a lot of areas has moved away from working five days and having two days off to many working 6-7 days a week. At the same time, North America, as a society, has seen an increase in the percentage of people who suffer from depression and anxiety.

In scripture, there is a rhythm for God’s people to practise. For Jesus followers, this is not a salvation issue. God is not going to reject you because you do not keep this rhythm.

At the beginning of Jesus’ ministry, he started by declaring that he is the “LORD of the Sabbath” and the meaning of the day (Matthew 12:8; Luke 4:21). In a sense the Sabbath was a stop day from work, it was a day for restoring.

When we look at the Sabbath we can become legalistic and create all kinds of boundaries around the pattern and forget the intent of the law. It’s not about keeping it, (although in a way it is), but it is really about restoring and trusting God. I am beginning to understand that that part of the Sabbath is not just about rest or restoring, but growing my trust in Jesus.

What if Sabbath is meant to be a refuge and not a prison?

There is much research out there now that is building a strong case for the need to slow down and take rest. In my personal life, I have gained wisdom through experience about the need to have a stop day–the need to just sit with Jesus at various times in our life.

The challenge is understanding what work is. Work has changed over time and is different for many. The Sabbath is about taking rest from the work we do. It is taking a break from the regular work of our daily week.

In my life I have seen that by taking a break from the routine of work/commerce has helped to build relationships with my kids, to the point that they anticipate a certain activity that has become a tradition for us. I have seen how it can help restore my physical body. I have found benefits to my mental capacity. I have found benefits in my spiritual walk and often I will take extra time in my prayer and meditation. During this time, I will often take the time to look both back and forward in my life.

I have lots to learn from this practice and believe me, I am not where I think I should be. However, Sabbath rest is something I see in scripture that can help us enter, engage and experience the life we were created for.

I would love to hear about your experience in this area and any lessons you have learned. Do you have a question about Sabbath?