This first three weeks of January 2016, I attended three funerals. Two were from my church and one was the father of my boss. There’s nothing like funerals to make you think about your life. Depending on what season you find yourself in there are different questions one may ask. Today I thought I would share some reflections from during those three weeks of funerals.
1. Everyone has a story
I know this as a pastor, so when I sit down with someone I always ask them to tell me their story. As I sat and listened to the stories shared at the three funerals, I noticed they were filled with joy, challenge, laughter and sadness. One of the comments I heard from people attending the funerals was “I never knew that” about so and so, or “it would have been great to get to know them more.” Many of these people were there in support of someone else, or just new the individual a little.
The truth is we cannot get to know everyone. However, in order to engage life we need to get to know people’s stories. After hearing those stories, my life was enriched and challenged.
I was reminded that everyone has their journey and rich stories. Even if it is only getting to know a few really well, take the time.
2. It’s all about relationships
I continue to be reminded of the power and need of relationships in our life. As I sat and watched people share stories and listened, I wondered what stories people will share about me. I was reminded that in order to enter, experience and engage the life we were created for, relationships are key. Through these funerals, I was reminded that we were created for relationships and community. I watched as the community came around those grieving trying as best they could to help.
As I listened to the stories of the individual who passed, I noticed they had each experienced loneliness in their own life. Yet it was times of community both small and large that helped to enrich their life and others. Relationships are tough, but I was reminded of their blessings and the importance of fighting for a few good ones.
3. Invest in others
At the last funeral, one person shared how the deceased person had influenced them to go into nursing. Each of the people in one way or another invested in the life of others and you saw some of the results at the funeral. Clearly people’s lives had been infected by these individuals in positive ways. The result was that both lives were enriched.
4. Life is short.
For all three of the individuals it could be said that they were in, or had just entered, the last season of life. Still , however, one was as they say, “cut short and unexpected.” As I get older time feels like it is moving faster and yet life is very short. My Dad recently shared with me how quickly my kids will grow up. One day they are there and you are running with them, seeing them every day, then a season change comes and they grow up and you see them less.
At the time of writing this, I am far enough away from my parents that we cannot just jump in the car and go see them quickly. This reality means trying to make the most of the moments we do have, like going out for morning breakfasts with my dad when we are together. It is why this year I am trying to plan a fishing trip together. Life is short, and we need to be intentional with our time.
As a follower of Jesus death is not something we become afraid of. In one of the recent situations, death was a welcomed thing as the person physically and mentally suffered much. In all the cases it brought sadness, but it was also a celebration of life.
Looking back over those weeks, I was reminded of the need to pause and take a picture of where I am at. As I continue to walk this life I see the advantage of self-reflection to gain a fuller experience in life. Then moving out of self-reflection engage life with all you have.