From the backseat to the driver’s seat of life.

Posted on by Matthew Laker

Are you taking control of your life?

driverseat bWhen we were in the car one day, one of my kids spoke up from the back seat and asked, “can we go there? I would like to.”  However, they were not the ones in the driver’s seat, I was.  Given my role as a parent in their life, I get to take the driver’s seat.  

Who’s driving your life?  Do you feel as if you are in the back seat and someone else is driving your life?   Do you find that your agenda is often filled more by responding to another’s agenda or needs?  Are there things you would like to do, but do not feel you are the one driving the car in your life? Perhaps your parents are still driving you around?

Do you want to take control of your life?

How do we get out of the backseat and drive?

Many people want to live a life that counts.  Many want to have an impactful career. Some carry dreams of having great impact on those around them.  Some want to leave an impact in their neighbourhood or in a certain field.  Many just want to get out of the hamster wheel they feel they are in, one in which they are running hard and not going anywhere.  However, to do that you are going to have to get out of the backseat of your life.

The number one thing to do to get out of the backseat of your life and drive is to:

1. Choose it.

Do you really want it?  Why do you want it?

It is going to take work and self-discipline. On a scale of 1-10, how much are you willing to change in your life?

In my circle as a follower of Jesus, sometimes we do not like the self-discipline idea because we think Jesus will make it happen. Now I believe very much we need Jesus in our life.  However, the life that he calls us to is one that involves self-discipline. 

To be self-disciplined involves taking the driver’s seat in our life.  It starts with not just I should, but I will and here is why:

This is really a mental shift and will be hard for many. You are the only one who can make this choice.

If you are serious about making changes then there are steps you can do to help.

a. Life plan

Most of us have dreams and things we would like to accomplish.  At the same time if we are going to steward the resources we have, we need a plan. We only have so much gas and time.

If you would like some help in this area, feel free to contact me about life planning and coaching. matthew@matthewlaker.com

Check out this post for how a life plan can help.

A second step to help move from the back seat to the driver’s seat is to ask yourself:

b. What new habits do you need?

Looking at your life, what are the habits that need to change, or be picked up, for you to move forward?

Understanding your “why from above” will help keep you going in developing a new habit.

Are you ready to get out of the back seat and take control of your life?

What is one step you will take today?

Reviewing Bedtime Routines

Posted on by Matthew Laker

Our Sleeping patterns effect our physical, mental, and spiritual lives. Not getting enough sleep tends to result in many negatives in our lives, such as lower creativity, depression, forgetfulness, and feeling far from God.

In the summer, my family and I often spend time at a friend’s cabin. I noticed this summer the whole family went to bed earlier than we 20150722_091313would normally at home. Spending the day at the beach generally helped, but it was different. Why could I go to sleep earlier there and not at home? It forced me to look at my bedtime routines.

Here are a few of my observations and rhythms I am working on around my bedtime routine to get better sleep.

1. Shut off the TV and lights.

Helene Emsellem, MD and Taylor Bos, BA share – “Nonetheless, careful studies have shown that even our small electronic devices emit sufficient light to miscue the brain and promote wakefulness. As adults, we are subject to these influences and our children are particularly susceptible.” (https://sleepfoundation.org/ask-the-expert/electronics-the-bedroom)

I became more aware of this in my life at the cabin where there were no computers or TV.

Too much light before bed may prevent a good night sleep. At the cabin there is no light. It is dark. It is one of the things I love about the cabin. There is a connection to unnatural light cycles that can have consequences on our health, in this case, our sleep pattern. So shut out the lights.

2. Reading sometimes

This one is sometimes because I have had those moments I will get into the story, and do not want to put it down. However, I have noticed that reading does seem to relax my mind more. It is a calming activity that focuses the mind.

3. Soft music

When I was in high school I used to fall asleep with music, but I got away from that. This one can be hard if you share a room with someone else. You will also want it on a timer. When combining this with deep breathing and lying still, I find it very helpful. The music needs to be wordless, slow, and have a somewhat relaxing feel to it.

5. A piece of paper and pen

As we relax, our minds randomly remember things. I have, at times, come up with ideas for a work project while preparing for bed. This in itself is good, but right before bed it can be a challenge. So instead of leaving the idea to roll around in my mind, inevitably preventing rest, I will take a moment and write it down and then set it aside for the next day.

6. Prayer/meditation

This can also be a helpful tool in slowing your mind and body down.

I am working on consistent bedtime routines, because developing a bedtime routine will give me better sleep. The routine can train my body and mind for sleep and position myself for a better day and sleep. This results in getting the most out of my day.

What rhythms do you have?

What is one routine you do that is hurtful to your sleep?

What is one routine you do that is helpful?

Is it time for you to review your bedtime routines?