When Dreams Fail

When Dreams Fail

Posted on by Matthew Laker

sailboat2 640x427Thoughts for When a Dream Fails.

Have you ever put all of yourself into something only to have it close down?

I have been part of two different churches that have shut down in one form or another.  In both of them, I had ideas and hopes of what it could be, in spite of the challenges that were there.

 

Although in different ways, closing them hurt me in ways difficult to describe. Yet, I am thankful for my time in both those churches. I know God led us there and it was where we needed to be.  Only a year after the second one, I still feel the pain of loss in my life.

 

However, when dreams fail, your story is not over.

 

What to do when a dreams fail.

 

1. Check your view of what success or failure is.

Often people see the closing down of a dream as a fail.  In a way I suppose it is.  I resisted the branding of calling the closing of the churches a failure for a few reasons.  The biggest was the successful moments in the midst of the challenges.  How we define success will impact our next steps.

 

2. Check your expectations

Dreams are good and we need dreams.  Sometimes the dream is better than the reality and that is the point.  It is just a dream.  Dreams can become reality but not without hard work.  Often our expectations are what get us in trouble in life.  In my life, it is the expectations I put on myself that are not realistic and hardest to deal with.

 

3.   Give time for grief

This is the one I have underestimated.  I experienced real grief and loss with the closing of the downtown congregation.  As I watched those involved, I was not the only one experiencing grief. There needs to be space for reflection, learning, fun, and community to help get through it.  For me, conversation with a counselor helped bring some perspective.

 

4. Dream again

This is about coming back to the core of who we are and called to be.  Just because the dream did not work out how you or others thought, does not mean you give up.   A year later the call from God in my life continues to stir in me.

Loss or so-called failure (again I cannot call it that), does not mean I cannot keep going.  Perhaps you need a time of Sabbath to recover, but do not stop dreaming.

There are lessons I learned from the past season that will help me lead better in the present and future.    To dream again means one gets back on the bike.  It may be a different bike, but that is ok.

 

5. Celebrate.

Through this experience, one lesson I learned was the power of stories.  In church life, we often do not celebrate enough.  We need to find ways to do that and give thanks.

Not all dreams go how we think they will.  Sometimes I wonder if God puts a dream in us just to direct us a certain way.  The dream was never going to happen, as God had something else in mind.

I know for such a season it was the right choice to be where we were.

Often our life is more about seasons and chapters than one long continuous story.  The season may be over but our life is not.

Get your sail up and catch the wind.

Benefits of Creating a Personal timeline – Part 2

Benefits of Creating a Personal timeline – Part 2

Posted on by Matthew Laker

make-your-own-pathCreating a personal timeline

We love to listen to stories and watch stories. Understanding our own story can help you further enter, engage and experience the life we were created for.

 

 

What is a Personal Timeline:

 

A personal timeline is created when you put together a chronological order of events, people, and experiences in your life down on paper. The purpose is to reflect back upon your life in order to understand what has shaped you so you can take stronger steps forward.

 

Preparing stage

· Purchase or have ready a pen, notepad (or word processor), and three different colours of sticky notes.

· Set aside 20-30 minutes in order to give a thoughtful reflection on the course of your life.

The exercise – part one

· Break  your life down into chapters.  For example, you could take a sheet of lined paper for each chapter(10 years).  You could, on a wall, place titles for the chapter sections (10-year sections).

· Now using one color of your sticky notes list out people who have had a significant impact on your life.  Place them in the correct chapter.  This is both negative and positive impact.

· Using another colour of your sticky paper put in circumstances of significance (celebrations, challenges, crises, jobs change, painful moments, events, mission opportunities, ministry etc.)

· Using the third colour of sticky notes, mark out God markers in your life.  Significant moments of growth in your spiritual life or understanding God.

 

The exercise – Part A

 

This is a moment to step back and look from a bird’s eye view.  There are a number of things you could do.  If it is on the wall perhaps put it down on paper to help reflect later and remember.

 

During this time use these questions below to help reflect.

 

Questions to ask after creating a life timeline:

1. What jumps out at you from your life’s journey?

2. What are the threads woven (themes) through your story?

3. What lessons have you learned over the years?

4. How have the painful points directed your life?  What have you gained or learned from them? Is there any redemptive value from the painful points that has contributed value to your life?

5. Looking at key decisions, were they fruitful or not? How do you define this? What made it a good or bad choice. How did you respond?

6. What do you have to be thankful for?  Is there anyone you need to thank?

7. Where, or what, are the turning points in your life timeline?

8. What was the most pressing emotion in each season?

9. What has God been teaching you along the way?

10. How does your life reflect the mission-heart of God?

11. When were you most fulfilled in ministry? What factors contributed to it?

12. How has this experience helped you better understand who you are in Christ?

13. What has your thought life been like through each of the chapters of your life? How has that directed your life?

 

The exercise – Part three

 

Look into the future. Where do you want to be in 5 or 10 years? What do you expect the future to look like?

In order to get there, what habits do you need to start?

 

Have you consider writing out a life plan? [sh_callout callouttype=”standard” title=”” bordercolor=”rgba(0,0,0,0.15)” bordersize=”1px” borderradius=”4px” backgroundcolor=”#fff” fontcolor=”rgb(24, 15, 221)” buttonenable=”enable” buttonbgcolor=”#DD4040″ buttonfontcolor=”#fff” btnbordercolor=”rgba(0,0,0,0.15)” btnborderwidth=”1px” btnborderradius=”4px” buttontext=”How a life plan can Help” buttonlink = “http://matthewlaker.com/how-a-life-plan-can-help/” buttonTarget=”_blank” fliptext=”” flipcolor=”#555″ flipbgcolor=”#fff” flipbordercolor=”rgba(0,0,0,0.15)” iconenable=”image” iconfontcolor=”#fff” iconbgcolor=”#DD4040″ iconset=”fontawesome” iconfa=” fa fa-glass” iconspin=”disable” image=”http://matthewlaker.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/how-life-plan-can-help.jpg” imageheight=”100px” imagewidth=”250px”][/sh_callout]

 

Understanding our story can help us further enter, engage and experience the life we were created for.

Creating a personal life timeline can be one tool to help you enter, engage and experience the life you were created for.

 

Let me know how you do!

Benefits of Creating a Personal timeline

Benefits of Creating a Personal timeline

Posted on by Matthew Laker

 

pathway 1Understanding your past can help you take steps forward.

Many of us have failed to recognize how events from our past have shaped us.

When developing a life plan, taking the time to understand your past can help you take steps forward.

Developing a personal timeline can help you take steps to better engage, enter and experience the life you were created for.

What is a personal timeline:

 

A personal timeline is created when you put together a chronological order of events, people, and experiences in your life down on paper. The purpose is to reflect back upon your life in order to understand what has shaped you and to help you take stronger steps forward.

 

Four benefits to developing a personal timeline:

 

  1. To further understand yourself.

 

Many of us really fail to take self-reflection seriously enough to understand our desires and wants and self.

Thomas à Kempis argued that “a humble self-knowledge is a surer way to God than a search after deep learning,”

 

  1. Understand the influence of your life.

 

We are all being influenced in life one way or another.  While some influence is  growth building, others can be destructive.  Some of us will have too many voices in our life, and others not enough.  A personal timeline can help us better understand those influences, and what ones are building or destructive.

 

  1. God markers

Many times in scripture there is a call to remember what God has done.  Many people I know do not pause long enough to mark the God moments in their life.  Looking back can help us better understand where we are and what God has done and where we need to go.

 

  1. Help make better choices for your future.

 

My personal experience is that more often than not, as people reflect upon their life, it allows them to start to make better choices for and in their future.  You begin to see how you react to things and perhaps even your thought patterns, all of which are powerful elements in your life.  You may discover areas you will need to let go of in order to take internal shifts to enter deeper into who you were created to be.

 

Creating a personal timeline is not about dwelling in the past, but about taking a bird’s eye view to understand the things that have shaped you.  Knowing your life story can help bring a powerful impact on your life today.  When we understand our past it can help us take steps forward.

 

In my next post I will lay out steps to developing this. 

My Personal navigational aids to stay focused in Life

My Personal navigational aids to stay focused in Life

Posted on by Matthew Laker

Traditionally, a lighthouse would help warn of dangerous areas of travel for boats as well as serve as a navigational aid. In order to enter, engage and experience the life Jesus calls us to we need some navigational aids.

 

Just as we put faith in a chair when we sit down, we must put faith in Jesus to live our life.  The challenge is I can see the four legs of the chair that will hold me up.  chair 3-640x427That is not always the case with Jesus and yet, perhaps we are looking at the wrong things.

 

You can read about a few of my personal challenges of trusting Jesus in the daily rhythms of life here.

 

In this post, I want to share a few of my navigational life aids from my personal experiences that help me stay focused on the life Jesus calls me to.

 

  1. Stay connected to the community of God.

 

This is in large, small and smaller settings.  The community of Jesus is meant to be a witness of God to us.  We were created to be in relationships and having a smaller community leads to a good life.  We need to seek out a small group of trusted believers to journey with us during every season we find ourselves in.

  1. Spiritual disciplines

 

This encompasses a number of activities all with the purpose of leading us to Jesus.  They help to push out the noise of life and focus on Jesus.  For example, a regular time of meditation in the bible often yields greater growth in our life than just running to it when the crisis comes.

  1. Serve

 

Finding a place to serve others helps to get your focus off of yourself in life.  Our life is often consumed with something we consider to be a big deal so having a place to serve helps us keep a bigger picture in mind.  It lets me interact with people who are on similar journeys in life. Serving has also been one of the avenues that God shapes and teaches me.

  1. My wife.

 

This one could come under the community section and the smaller community, but it’s also a unique relationship you may or may not have. However, in my life, my wife helps and reminds me at times of God’s truth.  This is especially important when I have forgotten to look to Jesus.

 

Trusting Jesus is no simple matter and for many carries both a mystery and a practical element to it.  It is easy to say  “trust Jesus,” but letting go of fear can be easier said than done.  It is during prayer, I approach the throne of grace. There I call out to Jesus asking for grace and mercy to get through.

 

Hebrews 4:16 “Lets us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need”

Keeping It Simple

Keeping It Simple

Posted on by Matthew Laker

desk-640x427When we are living to engage, enter and experience the life we were created for sometimes things get crazy and we make things over complexed.

Creating a life plan is a great way to be intentional about how you are living your life.

However, no matter if you have a written working plan, have a picture of one in your mind’s eye or just going with it in life, the unexpected happens.  This is when we need to remember to “Keep your life simple.”

 

Recently I was reminded of the value of keeping things simple. One Sunday the teaching plan was to remind people of the Gospel and God’s love for us. That Sunday morning I was supposed to tag team the sermon with another staff member.  It turned out that life happened and I ended up having to take the whole message last minute.  We had worked out this illustration that was the core of the talk that morning.  I struggled with my part earlier in the week to stay simple and keep focused on the illustration.  To add to the tension our timing that morning was of even more importance as we had a shorter time slot then normal for the teaching time.

 

The message at its core was a reminder of God’s story of redemption and our struggle in filling our life with everything but Jesus.  It was a simple message and the illustration made me look better than I spoke.  When the other staff member first shared part of the idea of what became the illustration/object lesson, right away I knew that was the message.  They had a great idea and so we worked out the illustration. me preaching

 

After the service, someone shared “you took something we already knew and gave us a simple picture to remember it.” I am glad that it worked out.  They had no idea the struggle I had with staying to the core of the message and keeping it simple.  There was tension even as I spoke to not get too complicated or add too much.    In the end, that was what helped me get through the moment.

Sometimes in life, in the midst of all the information and knowledge and messages and circumstances, we just need to keep it simple.

 

What are the core things that you need to focus in on? 

 

There were other things I could have spun off on that were not bad.  However, they were just that, roads taking me from the direction I needed to go that morning.

Do you find yourself running around putting out fires or jumping from one thing to the next?  Chasing the rabbit trail.

 

What if you pause and ask what is the goal?  Often, to get to that goal, it does not need to be overly complicated but instead there are simple steps that need to be taken or held to.  If you have ever developed a life plan, it is crucial you keep it focused and simple.

 

When you find yourself in the moment of feeling overwhelmed and unexpected events or life is feeling a little chaotic, pause, keep it simple, remember the core paths, and then walk.

 

As you look to enter, engage and experience the life you were created for, keep it simple, remember the core paths and walk.