Making disciples starts by one person informally or formally investing in another.
The coaching/mentoring is a relational experience through which one person journeys with another by sharing God-given resources. It is understood chiefly as coming alongside someone and offering them support, accountability, and a listening ear in any and all aspects of life. Each experience has clearly defined start and finish times. The goal is to help the other person fully enter, engage and experience the life they were created for.
It carries the idea of formal relationships. However, I have come to understand that we all have many informal opportunities to invest in people’s lives.
5 Tips for informal coaching-mentoring
1. It’s not about you –
Often we can see people only as their value to help us reach our own personal goals. The life that Jesus us calls us to is a life that helps others be all they were created to be.
“For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ” Philippians 2:21
2. Listen –
In a world of many distractions and anxiety, we struggle to simply slow down and listen to people. Often people are guarded in what they say and there are good reasons for this. This being said, people will often give hints about what is really going on beyond the surface of their life–the life that society sees. However if we do not take a listening posture we miss much of what is going on. Listen with the intention to hear the story and driving forces in people’s lives.
Sometimes the biggest investment we will make is being a listening ear.
3. Make time for relationships –
It all amazes me in the church as people gather on a Sunday morning. Many rush off as soon as the service is over. Now most of our buildings are not designed well for developing relationships. However, people often do not give margin in their life to make time for relationships. To fulfill the great commission we need to make time for relationships. Some of the great conversation we see Jesus in come as he bumps into people during the day.
4. Learn to ask good questions. –
This is a hard one and often only comes with practice. There is always a need to develop discernment if this is the right time to ask deeper questions or a least one that is going to bring further conversation.
Asking good questions helps the person process which then keeps the focus on them. This is not about you giving the answers, even if you know what they should do. It is about helping them discover. There can be time to give advice and often it will be invited.
5. Pray –
Take time to pray with people. Like the guys in Mark 2 who lowered the man through the roof of someone’s house in order to get him to Jesus. Prayer is about taking people to Jesus.
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As followers of Jesus, we all will have an opportunity for informal investment in others. Opportunities for the great commission come every week. However, you need to be intentional and full of grace.