The Fatherhood Journey is a shaping journey.  

In ones’ journey of fatherhood, what if God speaks to us through our children?   I am convinced that God uses relationships to mold and shape us. 

I remember a moment with my son when I was angry about something he did or did not do.  In that moment it was as if a mirror came up between us, with Matthew 7:3 written in the corner. 

Matthew 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of saw dust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

God will use our children and relationships to shape us into the image of Christ. 

I have learned that as I guide and lead my children, they will pick up the good and bad elements of my life.  My children will make their own choices, but as a father, I have a scary amount of influence on them. 

When I react to my son because he forgets to do something, I am shaping him.  As my son watches how I treat his mom, or speaks about his mom, I am shaping him.  As he watches how I spend my time, it rubs off on him.  It is scary to sit your child down to share with them how they cannot react in a certain way or do something.  Then, up comes the mirror and I see my reflection.

Matthew 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of saw dust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

I understand one of the best things I can do for my children is to work on my own holiness in my relationship with Jesus Christ. 

When you get upset with your child, ask why?  No, really ask yourself, why are you upset?  Is it because you believe yourself to be the centre of the universe?

It can be hard to see your reflection, and your brokenness in the mirror.  However, God is gracious enough and good enough.  I think in our children, he is sending a little reminder there is still some molding to be done in our life.  The challenge as a father is, will we accept the reality of the image in the mirror, and listen to Jesus?

John 10:10b ” I have come that they may have life and have it to the full”

An exercise for all (and you do not have to be a Father).

Take a moment and list the traits you do not like in your child, or another relationship. 

Now which of those traits do you see in yourself that you tend to forget about?

Ask what is there in them, that is in me, that I am reacting against?

Take this list to prayer and ask God to show you something you do not yet know about yourself.  Begin in confession and seek his help in removing the plank in your own eye.  Then begin to look at what steps he is calling you to walk.  Share with a close friend to help you.