Thoughts for When a Dream Fails.

Have you ever put all of yourself into something only to have it close down?

I have been part of two different churches that have shut down in one form or another.  In both of them, I had ideas and hopes of what it could be, in spite of the challenges that were there.

 

Although in different ways, closing them hurt me in ways difficult to describe. Yet, I am thankful for my time in both those churches. I know God led us there and it was where we needed to be.  Only a year after the second one, I still feel the pain of loss in my life.

 

However, when dreams fail, your story is not over.

 

What to do when a dreams fail.

 

1. Check your view of what success or failure is.

Often people see the closing down of a dream as a fail.  In a way I suppose it is.  I resisted the branding of calling the closing of the churches a failure for a few reasons.  The biggest was the successful moments in the midst of the challenges.  How we define success will impact our next steps.

 

2. Check your expectations

Dreams are good and we need dreams.  Sometimes the dream is better than the reality and that is the point.  It is just a dream.  Dreams can become reality but not without hard work.  Often our expectations are what get us in trouble in life.  In my life, it is the expectations I put on myself that are not realistic and hardest to deal with.

 

3.   Give time for grief

This is the one I have underestimated.  I experienced real grief and loss with the closing of the downtown congregation.  As I watched those involved, I was not the only one experiencing grief. There needs to be space for reflection, learning, fun, and community to help get through it.  For me, conversation with a counselor helped bring some perspective.

 

4. Dream again

This is about coming back to the core of who we are and called to be.  Just because the dream did not work out how you or others thought, does not mean you give up.   A year later the call from God in my life continues to stir in me.

Loss or so-called failure (again I cannot call it that), does not mean I cannot keep going.  Perhaps you need a time of Sabbath to recover, but do not stop dreaming.

There are lessons I learned from the past season that will help me lead better in the present and future.    To dream again means one gets back on the bike.  It may be a different bike, but that is ok.

 

5. Celebrate.

Through this experience, one lesson I learned was the power of stories.  In church life, we often do not celebrate enough.  We need to find ways to do that and give thanks.

Not all dreams go how we think they will.  Sometimes I wonder if God puts a dream in us just to direct us a certain way.  The dream was never going to happen, as God had something else in mind.

I know for such a season it was the right choice to be where we were.

Often our life is more about seasons and chapters than one long continuous story.  The season may be over but our life is not.

Get your sail up and catch the wind.