My Experience with Strength Finder 2.0

Posted on by Matthew Laker

What are your strengths?

This is a question I have been asked in many different circles. What if success has more to do with focusing on your strengths? Often we focus on the areas in our life that are weakest .

During the Spring of 2015, I was entering into a season of re-evaluating and reviewing life. Then during the summer, I first heard about the book “Strength finder 2.0” by Tom Rath.

   The first part shares about the background and value of learning your strengths. Then in the second part, the big idea is that “Strengths are a combination of your talents, knowledge, and skills.”

Tom Rath shares that we are six times as likely to be engaged in our jobs if we work out of our strengths.

Through the research at https://www.gallupstrengthscenter.com/ they have created an assessment to help people discover their talents and turn those into strengths. They have 34 common themes.

They provide a code for you to take their assessment. When you take it, you have 20 seconds to answer the question. The reason for the speed is they are looking to identify your most intense natural responses. If you take the test they will share with you your top five strengths, based on their research. In the report they send you, you will also receive 10 best action steps you can take.

For teams this can be a useful tool as you look at how the different strengths interact. There is some advice in the book on working with people who have different strengths. The biggest take away from the book and assessment is the opportunity to pause and better understand yourself. This in turn can help you enter, experience and engage the life you were created for.

My Three take always:

1. Understanding my strengths can help give direction in my life.

2. The resource has allowed me to hit the pause button to look at who am I.

3. I am now asking: “How do I leverage these strengths for success?”

This fall (2015) I am still in the process of building off of the information I have been given. I found it a useful exercise to take the test. I hope to write more about this journey, so stay tuned.

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Here are my top five strengths and a summary of what each one means:

Harmony – People who are especially talented in the Harmony theme look for consensus.  They don’t enjoy conflict; rather they seek areas of agreement.

Learner – People who are especially talented in the Learner theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve .  In particular, the process of learning, rather than outcome, excites them.

Responsibility – People who are especially talented in the responsibility theme take psychological ownership of what they say and what they will do.  They are committed to stable values such as honesty and loyalty

Belief – People who are especially talented in the Belief theme have certain core values that are unchanging.  Out of these values emerges a defined purpose for their life.

Connectedness – People who are especially talented in the Connectedness theme have faith in the links between all things.  They believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.

From the backseat to the driver’s seat of life.

Posted on by Matthew Laker

Are you taking control of your life?

driverseat bWhen we were in the car one day, one of my kids spoke up from the back seat and asked, “can we go there? I would like to.”  However, they were not the ones in the driver’s seat, I was.  Given my role as a parent in their life, I get to take the driver’s seat.  

Who’s driving your life?  Do you feel as if you are in the back seat and someone else is driving your life?   Do you find that your agenda is often filled more by responding to another’s agenda or needs?  Are there things you would like to do, but do not feel you are the one driving the car in your life? Perhaps your parents are still driving you around?

Do you want to take control of your life?

How do we get out of the backseat and drive?

Many people want to live a life that counts.  Many want to have an impactful career. Some carry dreams of having great impact on those around them.  Some want to leave an impact in their neighbourhood or in a certain field.  Many just want to get out of the hamster wheel they feel they are in, one in which they are running hard and not going anywhere.  However, to do that you are going to have to get out of the backseat of your life.

The number one thing to do to get out of the backseat of your life and drive is to:

1. Choose it.

Do you really want it?  Why do you want it?

It is going to take work and self-discipline. On a scale of 1-10, how much are you willing to change in your life?

In my circle as a follower of Jesus, sometimes we do not like the self-discipline idea because we think Jesus will make it happen. Now I believe very much we need Jesus in our life.  However, the life that he calls us to is one that involves self-discipline. 

To be self-disciplined involves taking the driver’s seat in our life.  It starts with not just I should, but I will and here is why:

This is really a mental shift and will be hard for many. You are the only one who can make this choice.

If you are serious about making changes then there are steps you can do to help.

a. Life plan

Most of us have dreams and things we would like to accomplish.  At the same time if we are going to steward the resources we have, we need a plan. We only have so much gas and time.

If you would like some help in this area, feel free to contact me about life planning and coaching. matthew@matthewlaker.com

Check out this post for how a life plan can help.

A second step to help move from the back seat to the driver’s seat is to ask yourself:

b. What new habits do you need?

Looking at your life, what are the habits that need to change, or be picked up, for you to move forward?

Understanding your “why from above” will help keep you going in developing a new habit.

Are you ready to get out of the back seat and take control of your life?

What is one step you will take today?

How a Life Plan Can Help

How a Life Plan Can Help

Posted on by Matthew Laker

DSCN4359A good life plan will help you reflect on where you are and where you want to go. Years ago, as I sat in a coffee shop and was listening to a seminar, I first started thinking about life plans. The seminar took you through a process of reflecting on the past year and the year before you. The speaker did not speak about a life plan, but the questions he asked were very similar to a life plan. His questions made me start to ask, where do I want to go?

Here are three ways a life plan can help you:

 

a. If you do not take control of your life something or someone else will.

 

A life plan helps you move from the back seat of your life and take the driver seat. Your plan needs to be flexible enough to deal with changes in life, but also structured enough to keep you alive.

 

b. A life plan helps you reach your potential, your dreams, and your calling.

If you are going to build your house, you are going to need some plans. A life plan can work as a road map to help you reach the dreams you have. It is a strategic road map to move ahead.

 

c. It can be a spiritual discipline to realign your life to be what you were created for.

For followers of Jesus, a life plan can help us reflect. Are we staying connected to the vine? Susie Larson shares, “Days will fly by, and sacred moments will continue to elude us until we decide to hit the brakes and take inventory on what’s driving us.”

Creating a plan lets you hit the pause button and center yourself so you can fly.

 

Try this exercise:

Take a moment to reflect on your own life. Write down on a piece of paper different areas of your life such as career, relationships, health. On a scale of 1-10, how are you doing in these areas? Now go back and ask these two questions:

a. Where on the scale do I want to be in these areas?

b. If there is a gap between where you are and where you want to be, what needs to happen to move?

Here is a free resource to help you reflect on where you are at and where you want to go – Life Graph

Personal observation between a hydrated (Wholeness) and dehydrated (burnout) life.

Posted on by Matthew Laker

cracked_earth

“If you wait until you’re thirsty to take a drink, it’s too late.  Your body is already into dehydration.” by Wayne Cordeiro “ Leading on Empty: Refilling Your Tank and Renewing Your Passion”

We were heading out to Canada Day celebration (Canada’s birthday) and one of my kids said, “I am not thirsty. Why do I have to bring my water bottle?”  Some times in our physical life we think we can just tough it through, and fail to understand the role of drinking before we are empty.

During a season in my life I was not taking proper rest or self-care.  I had become dehydrated in a way.  Feeling like life is overwhelming, questioning my calling (work), feeling like I could not even see the path right in front of me. And, struggling with just basic tasks at work.

Have you ever experienced something like that?

Sometimes we find ourselves feeling dehydrated in our life from lack of rest or other circumstances.  Given where you are at right now, ‘Are you feeling hydrated or dehydrated, or somewhere in between? What is your reality? Circle where you are at on the scale? How are you feeling?’

(dehydrated) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (hydrated)

Psalm 23:1

“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall lack nothing”

Rest in our life is like drinking water.  I was aware of the need to practise rest, and even had some people ask me once and awhile if I was doing it.  I will save my reasons for not resting for another time.  However, rest is like drinking water.  I am learning if you do not keep the rhythm of it, it will take you longer to recover.

On http://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/dehydration-home-treatment they share that just for a short dehydration time it can take up to 24 hours to replace all the fluids you lost from just a low or medium dehydration experience.

http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/recovering-from-burnout.htm says, “Recovery from burnout is a slow journey; not a quick dash to some imaginary finish line. You need time and space to recuperate, so don’t rush through this process.”

The call here is to practise a rhythm of rest, like how we have a rhythm of drinking water. The end results then is my mind, body and soul stay hydrated. We do not want to get to the place of burnout, or moving in that direction.

As I write this I am entering a new season. I have recognized I need to work on a few things, to rehydrate in a few areas of my life.

Here are a few observations and reminders that have come my way.

  • Taking a break doesn’t mean one is lazy or not valuable.
  • Taking rest does not mean one is less committed to family, church, calling/work
  • It’s really hard with a young family to continue to foster my relationship with my wife (spouse), but that is no excuse.
  • We all need pit crews in our lives.
  • Boundaries are our friend.
  • I need to not do all the family house chores on my day off.  Spreading them out over the week helps me rest better on my time off.
  • Scheduling rest before the calendar fills up.
  • God called me based upon him and not what I have done.
  • I need to understand what recharges me. I am working on this one.
  • 1 John 3:1
  • God is at work in ways we are unaware of.
  • Jesus is the greatest source of life giving water.
  • The work will never be done.
  • God gives us rest as a gift.
  • God is in control.

I have lots to learn in this area. How about you?

What lessons have you learned in practising rest?

How do you do this with a young family?

What is God saying to you?

Depending on what number you circled in the above scale.  What are two steps you can take in the next two weeks to move closer to living a hydrated life?

Fatherhood and Time Management

Posted on by Matthew Laker

timeAs a dad, I often feel like I am being pulled in many directions. The reality is I cannot give 100% all the time in every direction and cannot be in all places.

One of the hardest things when a new child comes into a family is the new rhythms or schedules. Time management becomes even more important.

In my journey I went from zero kids to three in one day, and then we added another son eight years later. I knew because of already having kids, there were different seasons or rhythms. Life was always changing as the older three grew. My hardest part at times was prioritizing items on the “to-do”_ list. But, going back to diapers again was a big challenge to time management, among other things.

Here are a few things I have found helpful:

1. Review your values – What is important? You will find time for what is important. Sometimes we say something is important, but our calendar will reveal something else.

2. Use a calendar and establish routine. Block off time even dates nights with family and your spouse. There are two things that have been good for me. One, I block off Friday nights from 4 pm on as family nights. My kids know it is pizza night and we watch a movie, play board games or in the summer go out to a park. The second thing is that I let my wife have access to my calendar. She sees where my appointments are, and what I hope to be doing. She can also can add in appointments for our kids’ or family.

3. Interruptions are not always bad. – This is one I am still working at. This is life and sometimes the best things happen in interruptions. We need to have some room for margin in our life. We need to have some grace. Grace for ourselves, the kids and your spouse .

4. Get Sleep – You cannot burn the candle at both ends without it catching up to you. You need to find ways to get some sleep. If you just had a baby or have young kids, this is going to be really hard, and so you must work harder to find a good balance. . Getting enough sleep is important for many areas of life. (I read an interesting article by Travis Bradberry called “Sleep Deprivation Is Killing You and Your Career” @ http://www.entrepreneur.com/)

5. Pit crew – You need one person or a group you can check in with that can help you focus, see options and keep you going. Perhaps this could be a role for a coach or mentor to guide you.

6. Communication with your wife. – This will not be easy but you must work at it in order to help. You need to be honest, and give and take at times.

7. ________________________ – What about you? If you have a tip let me know. Post a comment, send me a tweet @Matthew_Laker or matthew@matthewlaker.com

What have you found helpful? Send me a tweet