life growth – Page 2 – Matthew Laker

Help for a distracted Mind in Prayer.

Posted on March 9, 2016March 9, 2016 by Matthew Laker

My family and I recently watched the movie “Up” and the dog character, Dug, really reminded me of how we can often get distracted in prayer. Dug is found at times in the middle of a focused conversation and then suddenly, without warning, gets distracted when he sees something and shouts out the thing that is distracting him. The most well-known example of this is “squirrel!”.

How do we focus our prayer time and deal with the squirrel moments?

Our minds are amazing things and thoughts are triggered by smell, music, images and emotion. This is not a bad thing, but for many our minds can feel very cluttered when we are praying.

How do we focus in on praying?

It is common for many when they have set times of prayer to have their minds go every which direction than what they have set out to do in the moment.

Have you ever been there? We all will at some point.

Here are four things to help you when you get distracted in your prayer time.

a. Incorporate it into your prayer.

I do not know if there is a reason your mind went to that person or situation or all the things you need to do but why do you have fight it?

If it is something that needs to be written down, do so and pray about it. As people or situations come to mind, pray about or for them.

b. Read scripture

This can often help focus the mind and you can use the themes in the passage you are reading to guide your time. Find a few passages that you can pull up to help you focus and calm yourself. In my life psalm 23, 46, 90, 119, 145 are just a few I use.

c. Understand your environment.

We all will connect deeper with God in different environments. We need to become very aware of our environment and where we are at physically. Perhaps there is a need to shut certain lights off or turn them on. Many are going to need to shut the phone or parts of the phone off. In my current season of life, set prayer times need to be when my kids are sleeping or off busy for a time where they will not be coming to me. Play around with your environment.

d. Deep breathing

There was a moment of great anxiety in our life at one point. We had invited a number of the leaders over to our house after church and wanted them to pray with us. We struggled to share what was going on. Then one of our other pastors told us to take some deep breaths. He instructed us to count to 10 and as we did take a deep breath, then push it all out.

Doing such an exercise can be a great way of calming oneself. Sometimes I image as I blow out that I am pushing out all the worries and distractions and burdens I carry. Usually, I will do the breathing in and out a few times. I have learned there can be a physical impact upon my body by doing this. In return, it can help me focus.

There are many more tricks and ideas I could add, but what about you, do you have any tricks or ideas?

A Prayer Practise: What is Examen prayer?

Posted on February 17, 2016February 17, 2016 by Matthew Laker

Looking for help to kick start or develop your prayer life? Consider using the Examen prayer.

First some history:

A soldier was wounded in battle and while recovering he read about the life of Jesus and the people who followed his path. In time, he would convert to following Jesus. In exploring this faith and life, he became a priest to spread the gospel. In 1534, he and six others gathered and bound themselves by a vow to serve Christ. In doing this they called themselves the company of Jesus. Eventually, they would become ordained priests and ultimately become what we know today as the “Society of Jesus” or “Jesuits.”

From this group has developed something known as the “Examen prayer.”

The examen prayer is an intended short daily reflection. It is a method of seeking and finding God in your daily life. People have taken the practice and adapted it in small ways over time. However, the core seems to have stayed the same.

It is a great tool to help you engage, enter, and experience the life you were created for. It is a great tool to pick up for the lent season or add into your regular routine in life.

Examen Prayer Steps:

St. Ignatius, a Church in Boston that is staffed by Jesuit priests, shares the five steps of the Examen prayer.

1. Recall you are in the presence of God. No matter where you are, you are a creature in the midst of creation and the Creator who called you forth is concerned for you.

2. Give thanks to God for favors received. Pause and spend a moment looking at this day’s gifts. Take stock of what you received and gave. Notice these clues that guide living.

3. Ask for awareness of the Holy Spirit’s aid. Before you explore the mystery of the human heart, ask to receive the Holy Spirit so that you can look upon your actions and motives with honesty and patience. The Spirit gives a freedom to look upon yourself without condemnation and without complacency and thus be open to growth.

4. Now examine how you are living this day. Recalling the events of your day, explore the context of your actions. Review the day, hour by hour, searching for the internal events of your life. Look through the hours to see your interaction with what was before you. Ask what you were involved in and who you were with, and review your hopes and hesitations. What moved you to act the way you did?

5. Pray words of reconciliation and resolve. Having reviewed this day of your life, look upon yourself with compassion and see your need for God and try to realize God’s manifestations of concern for you. Express sorrow for sin, give thanks for grace, and praise God for the times you responded in ways that allowed you to better see God’s life.[i]

These steps can serve as a framework to help guide your prayer time. Many in steps four and five have included times of prayers for others as well.

Are you struggling in your prayer life or looking for a tool to help? This is one I have found useful in my life. Let me know how it goes for you.

[i] http://www.bc.edu/bc_org/prs/stign/ignatian_spirit.html

A Life plan: Admitting your reality

Posted on November 16, 2015November 16, 2015 by Matthew Laker

A personal review is a foundational step to growth.

If you are going to embrace, enter, and engage the life you were created for– if you are to discover a life of wholeness–it is going to involve looking at reality. To do that you will need to hit the pause button and take a look at your life in review.

Jesus shares, “how can you think of saying, ‘Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye” (Luke 6:42 NLT).

In that passage, Jesus is speaking about how we interact with others and judge them without seeing our own sin first. There is a reminder in this statement that we are both in need of God’s grace, but to find it we must admit our own sin first. It is in this passage that we also learn the value of admitting our own reality.

I was watching a season of reruns of ‘Kitchen Nightmares’ and noticed that the same thing happens in every episode: the food is bad and there are organizational issues everywhere. However, the biggest issues are the people refusing to look at the plank in their eye. Often they refuse to admit reality.

In any development of a life plan, part of that plan will involve understanding your current reality. Not only the circumstances but understanding who you are. How are you thinking and feeling? How are your thinking and habits are leading and contributing to where you are right now?

For many to admit their reality they are going to have to admit and identify the plank that is in their eye.

At the end of the year, it is common for people to set goals and New Year’s resolutions. Many of them fail because they are done on a whim and people do not really want to change.

If you are serious about wanting to change, you need to develop a plan and get help to work that plan. A good place to start is by reviewing your year.

Each December I sit down and do a review. I set aside some space with no distractions. I then take a mental walk through a reflection exercise of different areas of my life, asking where am I at.

Here are four questions to help you in such an exercise.

1. What can I celebrate in my life this past year?

2. What would I like to see changed? What is God asking me to change?

3. What were my obstacles this year?

4. What would I like to see changed next year.

Next Step: Get out your calendar and block off some time to take a review and create a game plan for the New Year.

True or False? You Can really be anything you want to be?

Posted on November 13, 2015November 9, 2015 by Matthew Laker

“You can be anything you want to be,” was one of the cultural beliefs I remember hearing throughout my school years. Today this idea still seems to be a basic foundational belief in our culture.

The reality is this is just simple not true.

When American Idol first came out, people believed they were going to be pop stars and no one could tell them differently. It is true though, that someone could be rejected in that setting and still have the strength and talent to become a pop star, but the reality is, many could not. At the end of the day, many people still pursue a dream that does not align with their strengths.

This is a hard lesson to learn and accept in our life. At the same time just because we get a rejection, does not mean the dream is over. We need to adjust, and work out of our strengths. Working out of our strengths will give us greater opportunity.

As a follower of Jesus I see a connection to one of Jesus’ parables where there is a master who gives a certain amount of money to three individuals. The expectation is they invest it and then they can succeed with it. One person is not greater than the other, but each is given an amount based on their strengths and ability. If they accept that reality and work from it they can experience God deeper and have wholeness in their life.

Tom Rath in his book “Strengths Finder 2.0” shares “you cannot be anything you want to be — but you can be a lot more of who you already are”(Rath 8).[1]

Many people in North America work to try and hold up an identity they believe will bring them success. Many of us run after a false identity for too long. As I have watched and journeyed with others, the reality is we cannot be anything we want to be, but we can still be successful.

I believe we have God-given strengths that are unique to every person. Yes there are commonalities in people, but if we can understand our strengths and play to them, we can find success in life.

The greatest barrier to this will be accepting reality and not idolizing a dream that is false. If we work out of our God-given strengths, a wholeness can take shape.

Here are a few questions for reflection:

1. What are your strengths?

2. Based on your strengths, and assuming you fan their flame, how will this effect the direction of your life?

3. What skills are you needing to develop?

4. What is one step you can take this week to build on your strengths?

You may have a dream that is just a dream. However working out of your strengths will help you enter, engage and experience wholeness in life.

[1] Rath, Tom. StrengthFinder 2.0. Gallup Press. Kindle Edition.

Why Identifying Values is important.

Posted on November 2, 2015November 2, 2015 by Matthew Laker

Understanding our values can help us engage life.

What are values and how can understanding them help us better engage in life? Why are they important to know?

Values are the guidelines that help shape our goals and objectives in life. They are part of a source that helps bring fulfillment in our life.

Values affect all areas of our life. For example, how we use our time and to whom we spend our time with are all shaped by our values. Our values will play a major role in our decision making. They are part of our identity as individuals as well as every organization. .

Juan Carlos Jimenez shares: “When we truly believe that a set of behaviors constitute an essential cornerstone to life, we act accordingly, and don’t care what others say about it.”

For many, our values are formed in our early life as children. As we watch our guardians, we will often take on their worldview. As life moves forward we will be influenced and challenged by peers, which is not a bad thing. Experience can also shape our values. For example, if someone has a bad experience in a situation, it develops behavior in that person. Perhaps this has more to do with a natural protection of their self, but that experience creates a foundational belief and value in their life.

Values are foundational beliefs in our life that effect behavior. Values can be changed, but that is a hard road to walk. Change can occur as people honestly think about the implications of the things they stand for. Sometimes values will change because of new influences in one’s life. However changing those foundations takes work and time.

Often the greater challenge is our lived-out values compared to our stated values. They are not always the same.

It is good to spend some time reflecting on your values. As you do that ask yourself, why do you have that value? Why do you want to have, or live out , that value? We hold to values because of their benefit to us, so what benefit does it bring?

Values are the things that matter most to us.

When we understand them we begin to understand the things that drive us.

Understanding them will help us to be in a better position for ourselves to enter, engage, and experience life as we were created for.

Here is an exercise to help identify your values. Click here