How are you helping people connect at your church?

Posted on June 29, 2016June 22, 2016 by Matthew Laker

How are you helping people connect at your church?

Over a period in 2015/16, I ran four newcomers lunches at the church.

A newcomers lunch is an organized lunch to gather new people and build relationships. The core of the luncheon is food, a small intro talk by me (3-5 min.), then plenty of time for conversation. We invited some people from the congregation to join and encouraged all people to ask questions of each other in order to get to know each other’s story. This was not a time to try and sign people up for things but help them build relationships.

How about you, how are you helping people connect at your church? Here are some observations from our newcomers lunch.

It is about relationship

People stay in a church because of people. As a church and as individual followers of Jesus, we have to place a high value on relationship. It is through relationship both the kingdom and yourself grows.

2. Local churches need to be intentional about connecting with new people.

Each local area has a different culture, but it is important to create a simple system to help build relationships. There needs to be both an organized time and a kind of unorganized time. In another context, I saw this best done by a few people in the church who made it a point to go for coffee or lunch, or connect in some way outside of Sunday morning with new people.

How are you creating a margin to connect with new people at church on Sunday?

There needs to not only be a system/program, there needs to be a culture of hospitality.

3. The need for mid-size groups

We never had this over the past year but did have a conversation about how this could help people move further in faith and relationship. I would love to hear from you on this and your thoughts and experiences.

4. Everyone has a story.

Giving space for people to share their story and for them to hear part of your story creates stronger relationships and opens doors for the gospel to be shared.

What does this mean for you?

I have seen too many people who just show up in the larger church gatherings and make no intention of getting to know new people. Yes, the new person has to take some initiative as well. However, the bigger weight lies on the people already part of the church. It is a scary thing to come into a group you are not part of.

This is where you come in.

If God is bringing people to your church, how are you part of helping them connect with Jesus and people? Not everyone is going to run a newcomers lunch. But everyone needs to be ready to help people connect.

How are you helping people connect at your church?

It is in the Small Things– Making a difference

Posted on June 15, 2016June 14, 2016 by Matthew Laker

Small things have a way of growing into big things.

As I concluded one season of ministry and entered a new season, I realized I had a bigger impact than what I ever knew. There were moments in that old season I wondered, what am I doing? Are we making any impact? I have learned sometimes we are so close we cannot see the growth. I also learned again the power of stories.

There is much I have learned about life, God, ministry and myself from raising my kids. Much of parenting I am learning is the small steps and choices in the moment. The thing is, my kids continue to grow. My boys seem to eat like they have an endless pit inside of them some days. Sometimes it is like I look up and realized you have grown. They were growing the whole time, I was just too close to fully see or understand it. The same can happen in the ministries and when we are investing in others.

I have learned from my recent ministry experience that it really is the small choices and small things that have a way of growing into big things. I do not feel we did anything special in our time in Ottawa and we made our mistakes. We tried to follow Jesus and do the small stuff, be faithful to who he created us to be. We took risks and learned and saw the kingdom grow and be strengthened.

During the last few weeks, a number of people shared with us the impact we had on their life. Please, I am not sharing this to say look at me. I share this to say you never know the power of small steps over time. There is power in small faithful moments that lead to grand things. Perhaps not success as the world defines it, but lives are different, the kingdom has grown. For that, I can only say, praise Jesus.

The gospel has this way of starting small like a mustard seed that over time grows large enough for birds to nest. We cannot underestimate the daily grind and faithfulness of seed scattering and planting and watering.

Do not give up on the good works you are doing. Do not give up on the faithful small steps. Do not give up on the seeds being planted every week and not knowing what is happening. God is at work. God is with you. Keep your eyes on Christ the author and perfecter of our faith.

Small things have a way of growing into big things.

Perhaps God has placed an idea, a burden, for someone or group of people. Break it down into small steps and start taking one step at a time. Embrace every moment and look for Jesus there. Let him shape you and form you. Take a risk and small steps. Over time, small things have a way of growing into big things.

^“31He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. ³²Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.”” Matthew13:31-32

Improving your Sharing of the Gospel

Posted on June 8, 2016June 7, 2016 by Matthew Laker

cTo improve your sharing of the gospel, remember it is one conversation at a time.

If we want to share the gospel we need to become better at conversations.

What are gospel conversations?

I define a gospel conversation as an ongoing conversation or one-off conversations that have the purpose to introduce, or help people begin to take steps toward engaging the gospel. It is not about converting them at that moment. It is about building relationships for the kingdom of God.

I was listening to a podcast by Michael Hyatt (Season 7 episode 7) and he shared about 6 strategies to become a better conversationalist.

Here are the summary points:

Establish a one rule conversation.
Listen with your heart.
Be aware of how much you’re talking.
Hit the ball over the net.
Ask follow-up questions.
When listening provide positive feedback.

As I listened there were a few things I pulled out for myself, but I got thinking about how this relates so much to sharing the gospel.

1. One rule conversations.

This is about focus and when you are talking about gospel stuff, keep the conversation on topic and limit the side conversations. This is about trying to wrestle with one topic instead of jumping all around.

2. Listen with your heart

Sometimes we think we have to talk to get the message out. How about listening so you can hear their heart, and where God is at work. Listening allows you to understand their story and where the gospel can intersect or is already.

3. Be aware of how much you’re talking

Simply put, we talk too much. Sharing the gospel is first about hearing the story of the other person. It is not about getting it all out, but living in the gospel.

4. Hit the ball over the net

This is about throwing the ball back over to them. It is about engaging and letting them wrestle with the gospel. In general conversation, Michael Hyatt shares, we need to be asking open-ended questions in our conversations. Our gospel conversations need to be like a regular conversation. We often ask closed questions, however, I have found opened questions offer stronger pathways for people to wrestle with the gospel.

Example: What do you think would happen if people really followed the teaching of Jesus?

5. Ask Follow-up questions

Again this is about the other person. So ask them to explain more what they mean. Ask how did they get to that conclusion in life? Ask questions that keep them engaged and you hearing their story. In gospel conversations, you are listening to how the gospel is going to cross with their life. In gospel conversation, it is about getting to know them, it is about loving them, it is about building relationships.

6. When listening provide positive feedback

We need to celebrate with others. We need to help people see the goodness in their life. Sharing the gospel is not sharing how bad they are. Give positive feedback in your conversations that is honest with no strings attached.

Thanks to Michael Hyatt for stirring my thoughts around the conversations that I am having. He has re-affirmed how we need to become more intentional with our conversations.

Sharing the gospel is one conversation at a time. If we want to share the gospel we need to become better at having conversations.

5 Tips for informal coaching mentoring

Posted on May 25, 2016May 25, 2016 by Matthew Laker

Making disciples starts by one person informally or formally investing in another.

The coaching/mentoring is a relational experience through which one person journeys with another by sharing God-given resources. It is understood chiefly as coming alongside someone and offering them support, accountability, and a listening ear in any and all aspects of life. Each experience has clearly defined start and finish times. The goal is to help the other person fully enter, engage and experience the life they were created for.

It carries the idea of formal relationships. However, I have come to understand that we all have many informal opportunities to invest in people’s lives.

5 Tips for informal coaching-mentoring

1. It’s not about you –

Often we can see people only as their value to help us reach our own personal goals. The life that Jesus us calls us to is a life that helps others be all they were created to be.

“For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ” Philippians 2:21

2. Listen –

In a world of many distractions and anxiety, we struggle to simply slow down and listen to people. Often people are guarded in what they say and there are good reasons for this. This being said, people will often give hints about what is really going on beyond the surface of their life–the life that society sees. However if we do not take a listening posture we miss much of what is going on. Listen with the intention to hear the story and driving forces in people’s lives.

Sometimes the biggest investment we will make is being a listening ear.

3. Make time for relationships –

It all amazes me in the church as people gather on a Sunday morning. Many rush off as soon as the service is over. Now most of our buildings are not designed well for developing relationships. However, people often do not give margin in their life to make time for relationships. To fulfill the great commission we need to make time for relationships. Some of the great conversation we see Jesus in come as he bumps into people during the day.

4. Learn to ask good questions. –

This is a hard one and often only comes with practice. There is always a need to develop discernment if this is the right time to ask deeper questions or a least one that is going to bring further conversation.

Asking good questions helps the person process which then keeps the focus on them. This is not about you giving the answers, even if you know what they should do. It is about helping them discover. There can be time to give advice and often it will be invited.

5. Pray –

Take time to pray with people. Like the guys in Mark 2 who lowered the man through the roof of someone’s house in order to get him to Jesus. Prayer is about taking people to Jesus.

[sh_callout callouttype=”flip” title=”” bordercolor=”rgba(0,0,0,0.15)” bordersize=”1px” borderradius=”4px” backgroundcolor=”rgb(255, 255, 255)” fontcolor=”rgb(23, 129, 218)” buttonenable=”enable” buttonbgcolor=”#DD4040″ buttonfontcolor=”#fff” btnbordercolor=”rgba(0,0,0,0.15)” btnborderwidth=”1px” btnborderradius=”4px” buttontext=”Come back and Check out this Friday’s post on praying for others. You can also receive it to your email box. ” buttonlink = “http://matthewlaker.com/sign-up-for-updates/” buttonTarget=”_blank” fliptext=”Come back and Check out this Friday’s post on praying for others. You can also receive it to your email box. ” flipcolor=”rgb(39, 91, 195)” flipbgcolor=”#fff” flipbordercolor=”rgba(0,0,0,0.15)” iconenable=”enable” iconfontcolor=”#fff” iconbgcolor=”#DD4040″ iconset=”fontawesome” iconfa=” fa fa-glass” iconspin=”disable” image=”” imageheight=”100px” imagewidth=”250px”]Come back and Check out this Friday’s post on praying for others. You can also receive it to your email box. [/sh_callout]

As followers of Jesus, we all will have an opportunity for informal investment in others. Opportunities for the great commission come every week. However, you need to be intentional and full of grace.

Your First Calling

Posted on May 18, 2016May 15, 2016 by Matthew Laker

Series: Walking with Peter and Jesus

What is your calling in life?

Followers of Jesus sometimes spend so much time trying to figure out our calling. Some followers of Jesus never ask the question of how best do I serve God’s Kingdom. Both of these positions have the potential of being self-centered.

Notice that Peter was first called to Jesus before he was called to the work he was given. Here in Luke 6:12-15, Jesus is calling them to a new level of work (to be apostles), but it comes after the call to follow him.

As followers of Jesus, we can get so hung up on “what am I to do” or we covet the roles others have. In both situations, we forget about Jesus. Thus, we fail to fully enter, engage and experience the life we were created for.

Sometimes we think that if we figure out what God has called us to do, then we have found wholeness. At times from our work or ministry, we form our identity and think we are secure. We wrongly come to believe that it is then that we feel we have reached the life Jesus calls us to.

However, Jesus first called Peter and you to himself. He did not call you to do this or that. He called you to himself.

In our lives, there is a general calling and this needs to be our first priority. This calling is about knowing, experiencing, and surrendering to Jesus. This calling is about letting Jesus change us and when we do that we experience wholeness.

Today we have let ourselves be defined by our titles and things we do. Yes, to an extent what we do is an extension of who we are. However, as followers of Jesus, our starting point of identity is Jesus.

First, we are called to Jesus, second to our work. Too often we only know Jesus based on the identity we find in our work. Remove our work and we are no one.

Peter would not have got this right away. I still struggle with it in my own life and I bet it is a struggle in your life.

Instead of spending so much time trying to figure out your calling or the special focus you should or should not have, consider just getting to know Jesus and let him transform you right where you are at.

Peter, in our passage today, would discover a deeper secondary calling. It is in this moment Jesus calls Peter to a deeper commitment. This secondary calling is strongly interconnected to the first and so you cannot have the second without the first.

It is as we understand who Jesus is and what he has done that we understand who we are and what we are to do. Peter’s calling to leadership is built off of the first calling to know Jesus.

Os Guinnes in his book “The Call” shares:

“Do you want to know the secret of the mystery of your very being and rise to become what you were born to be? Listen to Jesus of Nazareth.”

We are not Peter but the principle still applies. First, get to know Jesus, second, let him do the calling.