4 Personal lessons from this past year to help embrace the New Year(2015)

4 Personal lessons from this past year to help embrace the New Year(2015)

Posted on by Matthew Laker

I love the celebration of the New Year and the thought of the beginning of a new season.  A new season opens the door for strengthening rhythms  or beginning new ones that may help me walk a path of entering, experiencing, and engaging the life I was created for.  waterfeet

 

As I look back on 2015 and forward to 2016, here are four personal lessons I was reminded of that can help me embrace 2016.  Perhaps within these four, there may be one or two that can also help you.

 

  1. My identity is deeper than what I do.

Identity is a hard struggle for us all.  Coming out of this past year, I am reminded that God has not called me or accepted me based on my ability but on who he is.  I was not called to be a pastor based on what I would do or can do.  I was reminded that what I do can change, but I am more than what my hands can produce.

 

My lesson moving forward to entering, experiencing and engaging the life I was created for, is to see myself as God does.  Who I am becomes wrapped up in him.

  1. Taking care of myself.

 

Taking care of yourself mentally and physical must be of high priority.  There is no way I can serve others, reach my dreams, or achieve my goals if I do not take care of myself.  I am not where I want to be physically, but I have made some great steps this past year.

In order to embrace the new year, I must ensure that I care from my physical and mental life.

 

  1. Life changes: give margin and be flexible.

At the end of 2014, we adopted a little boy into our family. You can read a little about that here.  It has been one of the great  blessings and challenges of this past year.  We have had to redesign our schedules and rhythms, and on top of that, we had a job change and moved to a new home.  As I look at my own life, and those I have journeyed with over the last year, change happened.

In order to embrace the new year, I must understand change is just a part of life, so give margin and be flexible.

 

4. We all need community.

To be honest, I have done well and poorly with it over the last year.  God has designed us to be in relationships and so the human experience needs relationships in order to flourish.  We all need larger, small and smaller communities in our life, but  the thing is, it just does not seem to happen.  We have to work at it and it is hard work sometimes.

 

However, even though there are challenge and risks in community, the benefits far outweigh the cons.  In order to embrace the new year, I must understand the role of the different types of community in my life and build into them.

 

Looking back over the last year of your life, what are four things you have learned that can help you embrace the year ahead?

Creating a Life plan: A Second step

Posted on by Matthew Laker

Creating a life plan can help you better enter, engage, and experience the life you were created for.

Picture yourself riding a bike and that you have been riding it for some time. You have had to push to keep moving forward, you have had to overcome obstacles, and you at times feel winded. Where do you want to be in 5, 10, 30 kilometers?  Likewise in life, where do you want to be in 5, 10, 30 years? One of the questions I will often ask University Students is, “What is your hope when you are done?”  For many, they do not know.  I understand that they just want to get through their studies, but it is important they know what they want otherwise they will just bounce around in life.

Another man I know is looking ahead to retirement and trying to figure out what he wants for that stage of life. Currently he is working through where he wants to be with work and finances, while also drawing an overall picture of that season of life.

Creating a plan will help you get from the dream to the practical.  A life plan can help you accomplish what you desire and steward the resources God has given you.

Recently in a post, I shared that the first step in creating a life plan is identifying the life spokes that are important to you. On a bike wheel you have spokes and the spokes work together to transfer power and weight so that you may get to where you want to go.

Read that post here

Once you identify the life spokes that are important in your life,  the second step is to ask yourself what you want to accomplish in those areas.  Where do you want to ride your bike to?

What is the vision for each spoke of life?

What is the story you want written?

Where do you want to be in ___(fill years in) years?

What do you want to see in the future?

Here is an exercise to help:

Step one:  Know your life spokes

(Example) Financial

Step two: Vision

(Example) Life Spoke : Financial

My Vision: I want to be financially stable while also generous to others

Step three: Define purpose- What is one sentence that would clearly define the end result you want.

(Example) Life spoke: Financial

    • In 30 years I want to be financially stable for retirement. This means owning a home mortgage free and living in my means.

As you work through each of the areas, there will be some cross over as each spoke works together in your wheel of life.

In developing a life plan, when you create a vision for your life, you can leave a lasting impact upon those you care for.

When we Live Generously

Posted on by Matthew Laker

givingPeople who learn joyful generosity will experience the generosity of God in greater and unexpected ways.

One governing life principle of someone who is entering, embracing and engaging a life they were created for is a life of generosity.

Often we focus on what we do not have and that will lead to a belief in scarcity. This in turn steals joy away from our life. At the same time it wars against generosity.

Greed is destructive for community and for our self. It is at the core of our struggle with generosity. Much of the greed has roots in the pursuit of identity, security and significance.

There is some research out now that even suggests that living a generous life can bring greater joy and fullness. .

For Jesus followers, who are people saved by radical grace, we are to live radically generous lives. This is Jesus’ dream for our life and one that brings wholeness, a wholeness both to us and our community.

The gospel of Jesus calls us to a new identity, to trust Jesus for our security and significance. Paul, in Acts 20:35, shares that Jesus said it is more blessed to give than to receive.

Jesus wants us to image a world where those who have help those who do not. Life in the kingdom of God has different value. In following Jesus we understand we are just stewards of resources.

When we live generously, we are declaring God is in control of our environment.

When we live generously, we understand that for those with wealth much is expected.

When we live generously, we understand our life does not consist of our abundance or possessions.

When we live generously, we live by a budget. This allows us to be stewards

When we live generously, we understand it is not just money, but time, and how the things we own are used. How could you use your car to serve others?

Being Generous is something we learn. One step at a time. This week, even this year, what if you gave 1% more then you gave last year.

People who learn joyful generosity will experience the generosity of God in greater and unexpected ways.

A Frist Step in Developing a Life Plan

Posted on by Matthew Laker

bike 2In developing a life plan you need to identify the areas of your life that are important.

David Fiedler, a bicycling Expert, writes about the role of Bike spokes at about.com:

Bike spokes are “a key role in the transferring of the power from your legs to the rim to make the bike go. Enormous force gets applied to the hub of a rear wheel by the chain and gearing when you pedal down hard, and together the spokes carry the power that has gone from your legs to the chain then out to the wheel. That force driving the bike forward gets distributed among many spokes in a properly aligned wheel, which people usually describe as being “in true.” When you look at weight distribution, too, even under a very heavy load many spokes help spread out the weight so that it is more evenly carried and doesn’t put too much stress on any single spoke.”

In looking at a bike wheel, what if the spokes could be an illustration for your life? What if each spoke could represent an area of your life.  As each area is working in the wheel, the wheel is able to properly roll and move you forward.  You may not have as many spokes as a bike has,   but if the spoke is not aligned right the wheel will not function correctly.

Picture your life like the wheel and the different areas of your life like the spokes. If you do not have direction in your life-spokes (the spoke is not aligned right), the wheel will not function to the best of its ability to get you moving forward.

What life-spokes do you need to get aligned in order for the wheel of your life to move forward?  Such areas to look at could include: family, physical health, career, money, education, etc.

What do you want to accomplish in those life-spokes of life?  As you understand your vision for each life-spoke, it is like aligning the wheel of your life so it can roll under the pressures, taking you from where you are to where you want to go.

For some, the wheel is falling under the pressure of life.  You need to build up the spokes and get them aligned in order to get rolling.  

The first step in building the spokes of the wheel is identifying them, just as the first step in building a life plan is identifying the important areas of your life.

Are you looking for help? Click here for an exercise.

How a Coach Can Help

Posted on by Matthew Laker

There is something powerful that can happen in a guided conversation.  In my experience, often just having someone listen and help me talk through where I am and what I need to do is of great value.

carriageToday most often when we speak about coaches, we think about sports coaches.  Historically the word “coach” itself comes from a horse drawn vehicle.   Today, the concept has expanded to an understanding of a person who guides people from where they are to greater competence and the fulfillment they desire.  For me, as a coach, I bring to the table a spiritual component,  helping people not only reach what they desire, but helping them discover where God wants them to be.

A coach can help someone get unstuck in circumstances or seasons of life.  A coach can help you figure out where you are and how to get to where you need to go.  It really is the client that does most of the work, but the coach provides tools, often through the form of questions, to help an individual take steps to become unstuck.

Coaching can help with: ad for coaching 2015

  • building confidence
  • expanding one’s vision for the future
  • reaching an individual’s or organization’s dream
  • unlocking potential
  • increasing skills
  • moving through a transition
  • practical steps toward reaching goals

A coach does not address issues such as abuse, addiction, psychosis, or dysfunction.  It is for the relatively healthy individuals who want to address a current challenge of where they are at and how they are going to get to where they want to be . It is important for the client to want and be willing to change in order to get the most out of the experience.

Coaches will focus more on strengths and current situations and moving forward.  Coaching is a relationship that is client centered and goal directed.  Each situation is unique, but most coaches will look to what  the person wants to change, or areas they want to grow in. Many will work through the obstacles and create a plan to move forward, giving accountability along the journey.

A Coach is a partner that works to help you reach a goal.  A coach is an advocate for you; they are someone looking out for you. A coach is a cheerleader, helping you celebrate wins and cheering you on.  These are just a few ways a life coach can help you.

Below is a table to help understand the difference between coaching and other relationships.

Key Distinctions between Coaching and Other Relationships

Who is the Expert?

Assumptions About the Other Person

Purpose of Questions

What is the Outcome?

Coaching

Person being coached

Healthy, ready to move forward

To promote discovery for the person being coached

New awareness and action

Counseling

Counselor

Pathology; has experienced a wound that continues to cause hurt

To provide a diagnosis and/or to better understand “why?”

Understanding and acceptance to promote healing

Mentoring

Mentor

Experiencing circumstances similar to those previously faced by the mentor

The one being mentored asks questions to solicit advice and gather information

The one who is mentored resembles the mentor in knowledge and action

Discipling

Discipler

A follower of Christ who wants to learn and grow

Often scripted or planned in advance, aimed at learning from Scripture

A clearer understanding of Scripture and closer walk with God