Four tips for dealing with Change in 2015

Posted on by Matthew Laker

IMG_0597In a leadership class I took years ago, I had to read Spencer Johnson’s book called, “Who Moved My Cheese?” (Who Moved My Cheese?: An A-Mazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life) It is one of those books that stays with you for a long time.  The quick summary is there are two mice who have always gotten the cheese in the same spot every day.  One day they wake up and the cheese is gone.  They are faced with a decision, do they go out and look for the cheese or stay put.  The book unfolds sharing the experience of these two mice who take different roads and lessons learned on the Journey.  You really should pick up a copy.

Change in life is like someone coming along every day and moving the cheese in the mouse-maze we call life.  Change is part of the journey of life.  In my life, having children is the fastest way I have understand this.  You just get used to one season and start to figure it out, and then the kids grow and the cheese is moved.  As changes comes, we can either be pushed along, or influence where we will go.

Change comes in either small or big steps, but change is part of life. In some change all you can do is put up your sails and ride it.  You cannot control the wind, but using the sail and rudder you can steward the direction you go in.

I understand that not all change is good, but know the cheese will be moved.  So you will either adapt or die. .  Adapting does not mean core values have to change, but it does mean we get to continue to produce fruit.

Here are four tips for dealing with change:

 

1. Be aware of your identity struggle.  When change happens, questions will come up about your identity. .  So much of our identity can get wrapped up in what we do, or the circumstances we are in.  However, the God who created us, calls us to him, and wants us to know who we are.  Who we are is not based upon what we do or our changing circumstances, but upon Jesus.

“Basil Pennington suggests that the core of the false self is the belief that my value depends on what I have, what I can do and what others think of me.” (Benner, David G. (2009-08-20). The Gift of Being Yourself: The Sacred Call to Self-Discovery (p. 81). InterVarsity Press. Kindle Edition.)

2. Change can be emotional.  We need to recognize the emotions we are feeling.  We need wise counsel to help us understand it and what it is pointing to or saying about ourselves.  We need that counsels help in guarding our hearts, so we do not become deceived and stuck seeing only one way. We need to watch our attitudes toward others and ourselves.  Check our expectations.

3. We need to listen before we speak.

4. There are always options.  Sometimes we can think this is the end, that there is no way out.  Perhaps there are moments like that where a season is over, but in Christ the season has simply changed.   What option would allow you to be your best and be who you were created to be?

Change is part of life, and as you well know takes its twists and turns.  Don’t let that stop you from becoming and living out who God has created you to be.

What have you found helpful in getting through change?

Personal observation between a hydrated (Wholeness) and dehydrated (burnout) life.

Posted on by Matthew Laker

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“If you wait until you’re thirsty to take a drink, it’s too late.  Your body is already into dehydration.” by Wayne Cordeiro “ Leading on Empty: Refilling Your Tank and Renewing Your Passion”

We were heading out to Canada Day celebration (Canada’s birthday) and one of my kids said, “I am not thirsty. Why do I have to bring my water bottle?”  Some times in our physical life we think we can just tough it through, and fail to understand the role of drinking before we are empty.

During a season in my life I was not taking proper rest or self-care.  I had become dehydrated in a way.  Feeling like life is overwhelming, questioning my calling (work), feeling like I could not even see the path right in front of me. And, struggling with just basic tasks at work.

Have you ever experienced something like that?

Sometimes we find ourselves feeling dehydrated in our life from lack of rest or other circumstances.  Given where you are at right now, ‘Are you feeling hydrated or dehydrated, or somewhere in between? What is your reality? Circle where you are at on the scale? How are you feeling?’

(dehydrated) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (hydrated)

Psalm 23:1

“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall lack nothing”

Rest in our life is like drinking water.  I was aware of the need to practise rest, and even had some people ask me once and awhile if I was doing it.  I will save my reasons for not resting for another time.  However, rest is like drinking water.  I am learning if you do not keep the rhythm of it, it will take you longer to recover.

On http://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/dehydration-home-treatment they share that just for a short dehydration time it can take up to 24 hours to replace all the fluids you lost from just a low or medium dehydration experience.

http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/recovering-from-burnout.htm says, “Recovery from burnout is a slow journey; not a quick dash to some imaginary finish line. You need time and space to recuperate, so don’t rush through this process.”

The call here is to practise a rhythm of rest, like how we have a rhythm of drinking water. The end results then is my mind, body and soul stay hydrated. We do not want to get to the place of burnout, or moving in that direction.

As I write this I am entering a new season. I have recognized I need to work on a few things, to rehydrate in a few areas of my life.

Here are a few observations and reminders that have come my way.

  • Taking a break doesn’t mean one is lazy or not valuable.
  • Taking rest does not mean one is less committed to family, church, calling/work
  • It’s really hard with a young family to continue to foster my relationship with my wife (spouse), but that is no excuse.
  • We all need pit crews in our lives.
  • Boundaries are our friend.
  • I need to not do all the family house chores on my day off.  Spreading them out over the week helps me rest better on my time off.
  • Scheduling rest before the calendar fills up.
  • God called me based upon him and not what I have done.
  • I need to understand what recharges me. I am working on this one.
  • 1 John 3:1
  • God is at work in ways we are unaware of.
  • Jesus is the greatest source of life giving water.
  • The work will never be done.
  • God gives us rest as a gift.
  • God is in control.

I have lots to learn in this area. How about you?

What lessons have you learned in practising rest?

How do you do this with a young family?

What is God saying to you?

Depending on what number you circled in the above scale.  What are two steps you can take in the next two weeks to move closer to living a hydrated life?

One Tip For Creating Space To Hear From God

Posted on by Matthew Laker

One tip for creating space to hear from God.

IMG_2792The week after writing about the post,“If we do not build an altar to meet with God, he cannot honour us with his fire,” I was struck by the reality that so many of us struggle with, the rhythm of creating space. If Jesus is the source of water in my life, then why do I not drink from that pool?

I cannot remember where I read this comment:The disciplines we have during the good moments will help us during the valleys of life. Forget for a moment what that would look like. What if you just pulled out your schedule, and for the next six weeks, one time a week, you scheduled 30 minutes to build the altar?

In my journey challenges have come from a number of areas. For example, responsibility from work, from family, the need for sleep, bad habits and or bad rhythms already established in my life. And, then there are the excuses we come up with.

In my life when I have not scheduled the time, I have failed to be restored. It has hurt my journey in life. When I do schedule the time, not only do I become grounded in Jesus, I am better husband, father, friend, pastor and person. It is as if God has designed our life in such a way to leak, and this forces us to come to him to be filled. In turn this reminds us of our need for God.

What if over the next six weeks you heard from God? What if you gained a greater or deeper understanding of who God is and what he has done? This is why we schedule our time, to draw from an eternal well and hear from Jesus.

I am just not a calendar person you may say. Maybe, but you seem to find a way to eat food every day.

Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water” (John 4:13-15).

Pull out the calendar and plan time to meet with Jesus. Try it just for six weeks and let me know what happens?

Any suggestion on how to use that time? If you are looking for help send me an email: matthew@matthewlaker.com

Go ahead over the next six weeks, plan 30 min. each week to build space to hear from God.

Build an Altar and wait for God’s glory

Posted on by Matthew Laker

If we do not build an altar to meet with God, he cannot honour us with his fire.

 

For many followers of Jesus, we desire to have a relationship with him.  We desire to know the power and experience the presences of God in our life.22943_Set_a_Fire

As we follow Jesus we need to create a set time in our rhythm of life, where we sit sat at the altar to meet with God.

But why?

The simple reason is this:

We are nothing without the presence of God, and nothing is more important than experiencing the glory of God.

If we do not build the altar to meet with God, he cannot honour us with his fire (presence).

We want God to lead and speak in our life, but are we creating space to hear from him? Are we using the lens of scripture to view life circumstances? The building of the altar is a metaphor for creating space to worship and hear from God.

For so many today, we have surrendered to the idol of busyness or exhaustion.  There is no margin (for God) in many people’s lives here in Canada and the western world.  Many followers of Jesus desire to experience renewal, and the presences or power of God in their lives. However, they fail to build alters to meet with him to receive it.

The idea of, and image of an altar has been helpful in my journey with Jesus.  I understand some may struggle with this image, but it is a place, a moment to meet with God.  Yes, God is with me wherever I go.  Yes, I can speak with him throughout the rhythms of life and we need to.  We need to live out the teaching of Romans 12 with our life being laid out on the altar before Jesus.

However, I still believe in the need of altars. But, not in the sense of sin sacrifice for atonement – that is finished in Jesus Christ. What I am speaking of are moments of pause so that we intake the gospel.  It is like in an engine piston.  As it goes up it takes in oxygen and gas.  Then it compress it.  The altar moment is a time where we are taking the gospel in and letting the spirit compress it, then in the Spirits’ timing, he ignites us and power comes.  From there we go and engage the world.

Jesus would often get up early or pull away from the disciples and crowds to seek God the Father.  He reveals to us a pattern, a rhythm to follow in life.

We need to be careful of the idol of religion and not become legalistic.  That is to say if I do this, then God has to burn the altar.  To think that way makes this moment to be about you and not God.  This is not about putting your quarter in, and God comes out.

This is about creating space to worship God, to be reminded about who he is and who I am.  Remembering that nothing is of any use without the presence of God, and nothing is more important than experiencing the glory of God.

But if we do not build the altar to meet with God,  he cannot honour us with his fire (presence).

If we want to see the power of God, we are going to need to build the altar, so he can honour us with his presence.

Identity Lesson from Moses

Posted on by Matthew Laker

j0407509The question of who we are and how we view ourselves affects everything from our day to day tasks, to stepping out in life. Understanding the question to who I am is often a life journey. How we see ourselves can stop us from moving forward.

Understanding who God is and what he has done, will reveal who we are and what we need to do.

When God calls Moses to go back to Egypt and lead his people out of slavery,, he shares that he has heard the cry of his people. And, he gives a promise to Moses of where he is going to take his people. We read in Exodus 3:11 how Moses responds to God by saying, “Who am I that I should go.”

Have you ever had that view of yourself? Stopping you from stepping out in faith and/or life? Or, had your view of yourself stopped you from living out God’s mission in your life? We think, ‘I am not good enough’, or ‘I do not have all the right skills.’ We say, ‘I do not have all my ducks lined up yet.’ Our failures are like looking in a mirror, staring us back in the face.

Instead of God saying, “Well here is all your good strengths and the skills you have that will help for this job,” God speaks about himself. We know that Moses did have a good skill set for leading people because of His years growing up in Egypt in the Pharaohs’ home, and the education he received. He also got some of his education from his experience living in the dessert. These are all good reason why perhaps God calls Moses.

However, this is not what God refers to. He speaks about how he (God) will be with him. He talks about the signs that will follow him, revealing God’s power and authority.

Then if you skip over to Exodus 4:10-14, Moses speaks of his weakness again, and why he cannot do this task. God’s response is about what he (God) has done and what he (God) can do.

Moses still struggles, but what I find interesting is how God sees who Moses is. Moses see all his weaknesses, and they are real.

But, God shares, ‘This is who I am, and who you shall be because of who I am. You may be weak in speaking, but I will give you what you need and you will not be.’

God answers Moses’ questions about who he is by answering who he (God) is.

As we get to understand who God is, we can understand who we are. Understanding who we are finds fulfillment in the one who created us and is restoring us, Jesus Christ.

The gospel shares that through Jesus’ death and resurrection, there is a redefining of who we are. When we follow Jesus our identity changes, and becomes anchored in Jesus. As we understand who God is and what he has done, we can understand who we are and what we are to do.

What if we listened to who God says we are? As you read the scripture over the coming months, ask God this question. “Who are you and who do you say I am?”

John 3:1a “See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!” (NLT)