The Fatherhood Journey: Reflection in the Mirror

Posted on by Matthew Laker

 

The Fatherhood Journey is a shaping journey.  

In ones’ journey of fatherhood, what if God speaks to us through our children?   I am convinced that God uses relationships to mold and shape us.  father2

I remember a moment with my son when I was angry about something he did or did not do.  In that moment it was as if a mirror came up between us, with Matthew 7:3 written in the corner. 

Matthew 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of saw dust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

God will use our children and relationships to shape us into the image of Christ. 

I have learned that as I guide and lead my children, they will pick up the good and bad elements of my life.  My children will make their own choices, but as a father, I have a scary amount of influence on them. 

When I react to my son because he forgets to do something, I am shaping him.  As my son watches how I treat his mom, or speaks about his mom, I am shaping him.  As he watches how I spend my time, it rubs off on him.  It is scary to sit your child down to share with them how they cannot react in a certain way or do something.  Then, up comes the mirror and I see my reflection.

Matthew 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of saw dust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

I understand one of the best things I can do for my children is to work on my own holiness in my relationship with Jesus Christ. 

When you get upset with your child, ask why?  No, really ask yourself, why are you upset?  Is it because you believe yourself to be the centre of the universe?

It can be hard to see your reflection, and your brokenness in the mirror.  However, God is gracious enough and good enough.  I think in our children, he is sending a little reminder there is still some molding to be done in our life.  The challenge as a father is, will we accept the reality of the image in the mirror, and listen to Jesus?

John 10:10b ” I have come that they may have life and have it to the full”

An exercise for all (and you do not have to be a Father).

Take a moment and list the traits you do not like in your child, or another relationship. 

Now which of those traits do you see in yourself that you tend to forget about?

Ask what is there in them, that is in me, that I am reacting against?

Take this list to prayer and ask God to show you something you do not yet know about yourself.  Begin in confession and seek his help in removing the plank in your own eye.  Then begin to look at what steps he is calling you to walk.  Share with a close friend to help you. 

Building faith in Jesus by dismantling our idols

Posted on by Matthew Laker

Like rust on a bike chain, idols can stop us from embracing what God calls us to be.bike

When I had to sell my house, I soon realized how much my identity was wrapped up in the home. In a way, the house was a symbol of success for me. I bought into a lie that owning a home = success. We were moving for good reasons, but I felt a tension between trusting Jesus, and what I thought the idol (a home) would give me. I came to understand that it is Jesus who will be my security and future, while the house will not be my blessing.

“An idol is anything that we look to for happiness or meaning in life or identity that is not Jesus” (Timothy Keller).  It can be a good thing (like owning a house) and we make it an ultimate thing.  In Colossians 3:5 Paul labels a list of sin all under the term idolatry, that is worshiping something else besides Jesus.

Throughout our life idols and obstacles will come up, and we will have to choose to put faith in Jesus or the idols. If we are to build our faith in Jesus, we will have to deal with our idols. Dismantling our idols will not be easy. However, Jesus does reveal what we must do.

Three things to help dismantle the idols in our life and build faith in Jesus are:

1. Identify the idols

Admit that you want something.  If we are to put it to death as Paul says in Colossians, then we must identify it.

2. Repentance and faith

Repentance and faith need to be regular rhythms of the Christian life. Abraham turned from his land, family, country and to God.  In the life of the follower of Jesus, this actually is not just a one-time event.  As one grows, the Holy Spirit and the scriptural truth together operating on our hearts, will call us to a deeper trust in Christ. They will call us to leave the idols of our life and trust in Jesus.  The daily rhythm of Repentance and faith is about putting Jesus back on to the “King-throne” of your life. letting him direct and guide your life and be your identity.

3. Resting in our Identity in Christ.

We turn to idols when we, at some level, believe they will be a better blessing or hope then Jesus. If we are to build our faith in Jesus, we will need to rest in who he says we are. The result of this is that we will stop running after or with idols.

What one of these steps do you need to deal with today, this week?