Six spokes to a flourishing life

Six spokes to a flourishing life

Posted on by Matthew Laker

Six spokes to strengthen to a flourishing life.

To many of us go through life unexamined. We fail to see the habits we have and ways of thinking we have that have led us to where we are. As one senior lady shared with me over coffee,

“we are a result of our choices and have to take responsibility for that.“  

We have a choice to who we are going to listen to.  

We have a choice about how we are going to respond to our thoughts.

We have a choice to the habits we choose to form in our life.

As a follower of Jesus, I also believe because we forget God, and not listen to who he says we are, we stay stuck.  

As I look at people’s lives, there are about six areas that we need to work on to help, engage, enter and experience a flourishing life.

These six (maybe seven) areas overlap and are intertwined. 

They are 

Relationships – First there is our family(biological and adopted), Second is close friends or community, Third is working relationships, those we encounter in different parts of life. 

Mental – So much of our life is determined in this area. How we think affects more then we know in our life. 

Financial – This is the resources and money of our life.  

Spiritual – This one may be a challenge for some, but I carry a world view that holds this as a component of our life.  

Career – We need to work and work is good for us. This area looks at our occupation and calling. 

Personal and Physical – This is about physical health and what gives you energy in life. 

Sometimes I have thought of each of these areas as a spoke on a bike wheel. If one of those spokes becomes weak the tire begins to fall apart.  

For most of us, we can not make significant changes in all the areas at once. However, you can make small winnable habits. You want to change your life; it is one habit at a time. 

Over the next 90 days, what is one spoke you need to focus on and one habit to move you in a healthy direction?  

Weekly sit down – Family Routine

Weekly sit down – Family Routine

Posted on by Matthew Laker

Weekly sit down – Family Routine 

What is one thing you are doing right now that is not helping your family or life succeed? 

What systems do you have in your family home to keep your family on track and help with communication? 

There are two habits that my wife and I work at that seem to be helping stay focused. 

First, both of us, at times, would be frustrated with the other because of perceived unsuspected appointments or meetings. Many times the one with the meeting (me) new about it, but my wife also wanted to do something else. At times I as well got frustrated at going here and there and wanted to try and think more strategic with or coming and going. One of my reason for that was to allow my day off to be just that. I hated days off that I was running here and there.  

The first habit we started was using google calendar together. We gave access to each other’s digital calendar so that we could see what the other one had planned or needed to be. It helped, for example, with things like booking dentist appointments and who could take one of our kids. We still have our bumps, but it has proved helpful.  

The Second habit that I requested was weekly meetings where we go through our week. I was struggling with the unexpected trips here and there and trying to get better at planning our week. The other piece this was it gave us space to talk.  

We try about the same time each week to meet. There are four things we do at this time. 

  1. We walk through the week ahead. Literal, we look at each day and where we will be and what needs to happen. We talk about who is taking a kid here or there or when will I be home.  
  2. We meal plan. This was not part of the original plan, but we added, and we work better when we have a meal plan for the week. There are so many benefits to meal planning. For us, this means writing down what we will eat each night for meals. 
  3. We have space to talk about life. Some times we are just at the kitchen table. Other times we leave the kids and grab a coffee together, and it has been a good experience for us. 

 As we look to enter, engage, experience the life we were created for, that does not come at the expense of our relationships. Relationships are essential to success in life.

What about you?

What is something you can do to help your family succeed?  

Having a weekly sit down helps me define my focus for the week and what

Stupid things we do

Stupid things we do

Posted on by Matthew Laker

I was listening to a part of a talk by Jordan Peterson. He gave a great question that we need to ask now and then.  

“What remarkable stupid things am I doing on a regular basis to absolutely screw up my life.”

-Jordan Peterson

My experience has been most of us do not take a look at our life and take responsibility for our choices. Too often, we blame other people and forget the power that we do have. 

Remember your habits and attitude as you look at establishing your goals and creating a plan to reach them.   Remember, your habits and your attitude are where the power is that will direct your life.  

It is about what we choose. We often fail to recognize what we are getting from the thing that is not good for us. It is meeting a need, even if it does not push us in the direction we want. 

So what is one stupid thing that you are doing that is screwing up your life that you will begin to change and create a new habit.  

Your habits help build a strong bridge to where we want to go?

Why do you need to change this?

What rhythm do you need to develop to move into a new habit?

Happy New. 

Goal setting – own your choices

Goal setting – own your choices

Posted on by Matthew Laker

We have a choice.

In 2019 one of the habits I worked on was going to the gym. As 2019 comes to a close, I can proudly share that most of the weeks, I went anywhere from 1-3 times a week. I still have work in this area to reach, but for me, 1-3 times is a win.  

I was reminded once again that reaching goals is about choice. I choose to go to bed at a reasonable time or not. I decide to prepare my bags, so when I get up earlier, it makes it easier to go. I also found preparing the night before, helped me go. 

As I look back over the year and some coaching conversations I have had with people, this has been the challenge to reaching goals, making a choice.  

Making choices means you do not get to do something else.

As you set your goals for the new season ahead, you have options, and you have choices.  

We need to start by accepting the facts and the circumstances we are in.  

We may not like the limits we are in, but they are there.  

If we are going to reach our goals, one of the realities we are going to have to face is the choice to move in their direction.  

What choices are you going to make right now that will transform your life?  

As you set goals for the next season, what are you going to choose to change?

I took a class at the gym every Monday, almost every Monday I had to choose to set the alarm and decide to get my butt out of bed and go for the 7 am class. Yes, there were some Mondays I missed for different reasons. However, I was there for most.  

What choices are you going to have to make in the new year to reach your goals?

As you set those goals, start with just a few small wins. Small wins will get you further in the long run.

Yes, it is about choices. Own your choices and the consequences.  

Are you looking for help in reaching those goals? Let me teach you a system that can help?

Reasons I do not reach my goals.

Reasons I do not reach my goals.

Posted on by Matthew Laker

Failing to reach your goals can be a hard reality to face. However, let’s face the music about why we failed. Here are four reasons that often lead to not reaching goals in my life. 

1. I did not review the goals each day and week.

You have to keep the goals in front of you and the steps you need to take to reach them. It is about focus, and when you do not review them and make sure they take priority, other things will take that space. 

2. I did not have quarterly reviews and make pivots where needed

One of the good things I have put into my life that has been helpful is seeing life through 90-day sections breaks it down into doable moments. It helps me stay focused.  

At times, however, I have failed to make pivots and adjust the goals to fit new information or reality.   

3.Unrealistic expectations

I am guilty of this one through and through. I try to set too many goals and fail to reach them at times due to not having realistic expectations. 

I am all for setting big goals, just have struggled with not giving enough time to get things done.  

At the same time, many of us fail to understand how small steps over time can lead to big things.  

4. Coach 

 I remember the first time I had a coach journey with me for a year. It was great to have someone to think through my goals and what needs to happen next. I was able to work through challenges and obstacles and develop a way forward. In a way, they are like accountability partners. 

As you look to the next season of goal setting, who is going to help you?

Reaching our goals are about one step at a time. What is one thing you would add for not reaching your goal this year?