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Help for a distracted Mind in Prayer.

Posted on March 9, 2016March 9, 2016 by Matthew Laker

My family and I recently watched the movie “Up” and the dog character, Dug, really reminded me of how we can often get distracted in prayer. Dug is found at times in the middle of a focused conversation and then suddenly, without warning, gets distracted when he sees something and shouts out the thing that is distracting him. The most well-known example of this is “squirrel!”.

How do we focus our prayer time and deal with the squirrel moments?

Our minds are amazing things and thoughts are triggered by smell, music, images and emotion. This is not a bad thing, but for many our minds can feel very cluttered when we are praying.

How do we focus in on praying?

It is common for many when they have set times of prayer to have their minds go every which direction than what they have set out to do in the moment.

Have you ever been there? We all will at some point.

Here are four things to help you when you get distracted in your prayer time.

a. Incorporate it into your prayer.

I do not know if there is a reason your mind went to that person or situation or all the things you need to do but why do you have fight it?

If it is something that needs to be written down, do so and pray about it. As people or situations come to mind, pray about or for them.

b. Read scripture

This can often help focus the mind and you can use the themes in the passage you are reading to guide your time. Find a few passages that you can pull up to help you focus and calm yourself. In my life psalm 23, 46, 90, 119, 145 are just a few I use.

c. Understand your environment.

We all will connect deeper with God in different environments. We need to become very aware of our environment and where we are at physically. Perhaps there is a need to shut certain lights off or turn them on. Many are going to need to shut the phone or parts of the phone off. In my current season of life, set prayer times need to be when my kids are sleeping or off busy for a time where they will not be coming to me. Play around with your environment.

d. Deep breathing

There was a moment of great anxiety in our life at one point. We had invited a number of the leaders over to our house after church and wanted them to pray with us. We struggled to share what was going on. Then one of our other pastors told us to take some deep breaths. He instructed us to count to 10 and as we did take a deep breath, then push it all out.

Doing such an exercise can be a great way of calming oneself. Sometimes I image as I blow out that I am pushing out all the worries and distractions and burdens I carry. Usually, I will do the breathing in and out a few times. I have learned there can be a physical impact upon my body by doing this. In return, it can help me focus.

There are many more tricks and ideas I could add, but what about you, do you have any tricks or ideas?

4 Reasons Why I Use A Budget

Posted on February 26, 2016December 29, 2020 by Matthew Laker

One of the things I learned early on was the need for a budget.

Money is part of all our lives. It is something we never have enough of and for many is the cause of much stress. I have watched people make strange choices around money in their life and like many at times, I have struggled on how to get ahead.

Early in our marriage, between God’s grace of having work and managing the money well, we were able to pay off our schools debts quickly. Working with a budget was how we were able to reach that goal. At this point in our life we have also chosen to live off one income to allow my wife to be home with the kids. That has meant we have to say no to some things and each season brings its own challenges. Through each of those seasons a budget has allowed us to manage our money.

We need to manage our money if we are going to enter, engage and experience the life we were created for.

Here are four reasons I use a budget:

Pay the bills

This may seem obvious, but really how are you going to pay for your bills? If you do not know how to budget you can find yourself in some trouble really fast.

A plan helps you reach your goals

At one time in our life we had the goal that the next van we purchased was going to be paid with cash. I hate buying cars because they are not a good investment, but they are a necessity in my life. For a season we had some extra income in our life and we saved it. Trust me there were things we thought about spending it on. We took control of the money and reached our goal. Budgeting can be a great tool to help you reach the financial and material goals you have.

Increase your generosity

Having a budget has allowed us to be generous with our money. Setting a budget lets us not feel guilty when we say no to someone when they ask. If we do not know how much is coming in and going out we will never be able to bless others around us. For followers of Jesus generosity is a value, and so we use a budget to help us live that out.

You control it and are not controlled by it

By knowing what exactly is coming in and where it goes allows you to grab it by the neck and control the direction you go in. Some seem to live a life that more resembles being tossed around from one wave to the next. In handling money you can either control it or let it control you. Debt has this way of putting us in bondage and it holds many people back.

Budgeting lets you take steps away from debt grabbing you by the neck. Given how our world works today, you may need to take some debt on, but you can quickly learn to control it.

How have you found using a budget helpful or not helpful? What tools do you use?

We need to manage our money if we are going to enter, engage and experience the life we were created for.

Four Observations After Three Funerals

Posted on February 24, 2016February 23, 2016 by Matthew Laker

This first three weeks of January 2016, I attended three funerals. Two were from my church and one was the father of my boss. There’s nothing like funerals to make you think about your life. Depending on what season you find yourself in there are different questions one may ask. Today I thought I would share some reflections from during those three weeks of funerals.

1. Everyone has a story

I know this as a pastor, so when I sit down with someone I always ask them to tell me their story. As I sat and listened to the stories shared at the three funerals, I noticed they were filled with joy, challenge, laughter and sadness. One of the comments I heard from people attending the funerals was “I never knew that” about so and so, or “it would have been great to get to know them more.” Many of these people were there in support of someone else, or just new the individual a little.

The truth is we cannot get to know everyone. However, in order to engage life we need to get to know people’s stories. After hearing those stories, my life was enriched and challenged.

I was reminded that everyone has their journey and rich stories. Even if it is only getting to know a few really well, take the time.

2. It’s all about relationships

I continue to be reminded of the power and need of relationships in our life. As I sat and watched people share stories and listened, I wondered what stories people will share about me. I was reminded that in order to enter, experience and engage the life we were created for, relationships are key. Through these funerals, I was reminded that we were created for relationships and community. I watched as the community came around those grieving trying as best they could to help.

As I listened to the stories of the individual who passed, I noticed they had each experienced loneliness in their own life. Yet it was times of community both small and large that helped to enrich their life and others. Relationships are tough, but I was reminded of their blessings and the importance of fighting for a few good ones.

3. Invest in others

At the last funeral, one person shared how the deceased person had influenced them to go into nursing. Each of the people in one way or another invested in the life of others and you saw some of the results at the funeral. Clearly people’s lives had been infected by these individuals in positive ways. The result was that both lives were enriched.

4. Life is short.

For all three of the individuals it could be said that they were in, or had just entered, the last season of life. Still , however, one was as they say, “cut short and unexpected.” As I get older time feels like it is moving faster and yet life is very short. My Dad recently shared with me how quickly my kids will grow up. One day they are there and you are running with them, seeing them every day, then a season change comes and they grow up and you see them less.

At the time of writing this, I am far enough away from my parents that we cannot just jump in the car and go see them quickly. This reality means trying to make the most of the moments we do have, like going out for morning breakfasts with my dad when we are together. It is why this year I am trying to plan a fishing trip together. Life is short, and we need to be intentional with our time.

As a follower of Jesus death is not something we become afraid of. In one of the recent situations, death was a welcomed thing as the person physically and mentally suffered much. In all the cases it brought sadness, but it was also a celebration of life.

Looking back over those weeks, I was reminded of the need to pause and take a picture of where I am at. As I continue to walk this life I see the advantage of self-reflection to gain a fuller experience in life. Then moving out of self-reflection engage life with all you have.

Five tips to help move away from a scarcity mindset

Posted on February 19, 2016February 17, 2016 by Matthew Laker

Do you see the glass half full or half empty?

When we have a scarcity mindset, we can think we are not smart enough, or recognized enough, or have enough space. It stops us and keeps us from moving forward.

Having a scarcity mindset pushes our focus to unfulfilled needs. We forget about who God says we are and our definition of success gets out of alignment. We will make the lack of things larger than God. A scarcity mindset becomes a problem for us as we try to fully enter, engage and experience the life we were created for.

Shahram Heshmat shares that scarcity makes us “myopic.” That means that we show “bias toward the here and now, the present scarcity, and we overvalue the immediate benefits at the expense of future ones.” He shares that we only look at the urgent and fail to invest in future benefits:[1]

Five things that can help us move away from the scarcity mindset.

What are you focusing on?

What we focus on matters. We may only see the glass half empty and forget that it is half full. We forget what we actually have. By doing this, we are held back in our potential.

Value and identity are not based on abundance, but who I am in Christ.

When I have a scarcity mindset often I have lost sight of what I value and am struggling with my identity. I am feeling insecure because I am putting my identity in things that are insecure. I am feeling lost because I have lost sight of the values that drive my life.

If we are willing to listen and be pushed, God has a way, most of the time, of slowly reminding us who we are.

I do have something to rejoice in.

Philippians 4:11 “…for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.”

Paul in Philippians 4 speaks about rejoicing and by the end of the chapter connects it to being content. There are many things in our life that we can be thankful for. Often it is when I have entered a scarcity mindset that I have left behind a thankful heart. I have failed to see what I do have.

Live in the mission.

This is about entering, engaging and experiencing the life I was created for. This is about understanding my experiences and skills, and strengthens and passions and living them out. This is about looking at where I am and asking how I can have a kingdom impact in this season. I look at how I can invest in others around me.

Personally, I bounce in and out of that scarcity mindset more than I would like. I am thankful for the community of God and his word and Jesus who keep calling me back.

A scarcity mindset, however, does have one positive element to it. It does have the ability to help us focus and prioritize our life.

Physical health

If I am tired, I increase the chances of entering the scarcity mindset. How we are doing with our self-care is important to keep up on.

How about you?

Are you willing to walk a new journey and take a step or two away from the scarcity mindset?

How about you start with thankfulness. Begin to create a list over the next 7 days of two things you are thankful for.

Here are two resources:

Pastor Brent Russet sermon “ The Scarcity mindset”

Juliana Park has a great list on “Do you have a scarcity Mindset: 10 symptoms”

[1] “How does being poor change the way we feel and think?”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/science-choice/201504/the-scarcity-mindset

A Prayer Practise: What is Examen prayer?

Posted on February 17, 2016February 17, 2016 by Matthew Laker

Looking for help to kick start or develop your prayer life? Consider using the Examen prayer.

First some history:

A soldier was wounded in battle and while recovering he read about the life of Jesus and the people who followed his path. In time, he would convert to following Jesus. In exploring this faith and life, he became a priest to spread the gospel. In 1534, he and six others gathered and bound themselves by a vow to serve Christ. In doing this they called themselves the company of Jesus. Eventually, they would become ordained priests and ultimately become what we know today as the “Society of Jesus” or “Jesuits.”

From this group has developed something known as the “Examen prayer.”

The examen prayer is an intended short daily reflection. It is a method of seeking and finding God in your daily life. People have taken the practice and adapted it in small ways over time. However, the core seems to have stayed the same.

It is a great tool to help you engage, enter, and experience the life you were created for. It is a great tool to pick up for the lent season or add into your regular routine in life.

Examen Prayer Steps:

St. Ignatius, a Church in Boston that is staffed by Jesuit priests, shares the five steps of the Examen prayer.

1. Recall you are in the presence of God. No matter where you are, you are a creature in the midst of creation and the Creator who called you forth is concerned for you.

2. Give thanks to God for favors received. Pause and spend a moment looking at this day’s gifts. Take stock of what you received and gave. Notice these clues that guide living.

3. Ask for awareness of the Holy Spirit’s aid. Before you explore the mystery of the human heart, ask to receive the Holy Spirit so that you can look upon your actions and motives with honesty and patience. The Spirit gives a freedom to look upon yourself without condemnation and without complacency and thus be open to growth.

4. Now examine how you are living this day. Recalling the events of your day, explore the context of your actions. Review the day, hour by hour, searching for the internal events of your life. Look through the hours to see your interaction with what was before you. Ask what you were involved in and who you were with, and review your hopes and hesitations. What moved you to act the way you did?

5. Pray words of reconciliation and resolve. Having reviewed this day of your life, look upon yourself with compassion and see your need for God and try to realize God’s manifestations of concern for you. Express sorrow for sin, give thanks for grace, and praise God for the times you responded in ways that allowed you to better see God’s life.[i]

These steps can serve as a framework to help guide your prayer time. Many in steps four and five have included times of prayers for others as well.

Are you struggling in your prayer life or looking for a tool to help? This is one I have found useful in my life. Let me know how it goes for you.

[i] http://www.bc.edu/bc_org/prs/stign/ignatian_spirit.html