Singleness: How the Gospel Shapes our View of Singleness.

 

one flowerOur identity is not wrapped up in our marital status, but in our redemptive status.

For any single there are pressures from within, from cultures, from family and from church.  Our culture is obsessed with romantic relationships and unfortunately at times, the church is no different.  In the church, my guess is that we are often ignorant to the perception we give to singles.
But, how are we to view singleness?  How does the gospel shape our view of singleness? Often we look at 1 Corinthians 7:29-31, where Paul speaks about singleness.  The first thing to note is v. 29, Paul shares the time is short.

1. The Eschatology age is now.

I bet you never thought we would talk about end times and singleness together.  Both Paul and Jesus spoke of the kingdom of God that is breaking into human history.  We are now living in the end days. The early Church was living as if this was its last day, and that shaped its worldview. This is why Paul says in v. 31 that everything is passing away.
Ben Witherington directed my attention to this:

“This being the case what had been said before on the matters of marriage, divorce, and singleness is no longer adequate, since it was not addressed to the current salvation historical frame of reference. In short, new occasions teach new duties, and to those to whom more is given (by way of grace and divine help) more is required. In essence, both Jesus and Paul up the ante on fidelity and restrictions compared to what is mentioned in the OT about marriage and divorce. In fact Jesus even says that Moses made those rules due to the hardness of the human heart, but that factor will no longer be taken into consideration now that the Kingdom is coming. 2) Jesus, followed by Paul, is perfectly clear that in light of the eschatology situation, it is no longer required, even of Jews that they marry. The creation order mandate— “be fruitful and multiple or multiply” (and the obligation to marry that goes with it) must now be seen as a blessed option, not an obligation for all of God’s people” .

Some of you might be saying, “But, I want the blessing”, but remember: Our identity is not wrapped up in our marital status, but in our redemptive status.

2. Being married and not being married are good conditions.

In light of what the church culture may say, Paul is clear that being single is a good condition.  In What is the meaning of Marriage, Tim Keller comments about how big a statement this is.

In Ancient religions and cultures, they placed an absolute value on the family and of bearing children.  A single person would be considered less than human.
Paul shares that for those that choose to be single, and those who have yet to find a spouse  that their future is not guaranteed by the human family, but by God.

Our identity is not based upon being married or single.  We are to live as only Jesus matters.

3. A call to Develop a Devotion to the Lord

In the text Paul is sharing, I do not want you to have divided interests.  He shares this in hopes that people would have undivided devotion to the Lord.  These restrictions or instructions are not meant to hinder, but rather to remind us of our anchor as followers of Jesus is in Christ.

How does the gospel shape our view of singleness?  It shares that our identity is not wrapped up in it, but in Jesus.

Ben Witherington shares:

“The church does not exist for the sake of creating nuclear families. The primary family is the family of faith according to Jesus, and the nuclear family is to fit its agendas into those of the family of faith, not the other way around. A family church should be one that is a family to all who are present, single or married, not one that is merely an incubator for nuclear families.”
What has been your experience of being single in the church?

Resources:

“Jesus and Paul on Singleness, Marriage and Divorce: – Ben Witherington

February 2014 I taught at this at Sunnyside Wesleyan Church Downtown site.

Dating, Singleness, Marriage, Sex and Jesus

couple 2

How does the Gospel shape our view and practice of Dating, Singleness, Marriage, and Sex?

For many of us the culture of our family and country we live in shape our view and practice of dating, singleness, marriage, and sex.   There is much good we can learn from our culture around these topics.   However, Jesus calls us to a new way that involves, at moments, a very different motivation and perspective around these topics

In response to many conversations, I have put together a series of posts in hopes to provide some foundation to a continual healthy conversation in the life of the church in these areas.

Here are a few questions for reflection:

  1. What has been the biggest influence in your perspective around these topics? Is it Jesus, church culture, family culture, or society?
  1. What good do you think we can we learn from the larger society and culture around these topics?

Series Posts

Singleness and the gospel

Dating and the gospel

Marriage and the gospel

Sex and the gospel

The Fatherhood Journey: Reflection in the Mirror

 

The Fatherhood Journey is a shaping journey.  

In ones’ journey of fatherhood, what if God speaks to us through our children?   I am convinced that God uses relationships to mold and shape us.  father2

I remember a moment with my son when I was angry about something he did or did not do.  In that moment it was as if a mirror came up between us, with Matthew 7:3 written in the corner. 

Matthew 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of saw dust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

God will use our children and relationships to shape us into the image of Christ. 

I have learned that as I guide and lead my children, they will pick up the good and bad elements of my life.  My children will make their own choices, but as a father, I have a scary amount of influence on them. 

When I react to my son because he forgets to do something, I am shaping him.  As my son watches how I treat his mom, or speaks about his mom, I am shaping him.  As he watches how I spend my time, it rubs off on him.  It is scary to sit your child down to share with them how they cannot react in a certain way or do something.  Then, up comes the mirror and I see my reflection.

Matthew 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of saw dust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

I understand one of the best things I can do for my children is to work on my own holiness in my relationship with Jesus Christ. 

When you get upset with your child, ask why?  No, really ask yourself, why are you upset?  Is it because you believe yourself to be the centre of the universe?

It can be hard to see your reflection, and your brokenness in the mirror.  However, God is gracious enough and good enough.  I think in our children, he is sending a little reminder there is still some molding to be done in our life.  The challenge as a father is, will we accept the reality of the image in the mirror, and listen to Jesus?

John 10:10b ” I have come that they may have life and have it to the full”

An exercise for all (and you do not have to be a Father).

Take a moment and list the traits you do not like in your child, or another relationship. 

Now which of those traits do you see in yourself that you tend to forget about?

Ask what is there in them, that is in me, that I am reacting against?

Take this list to prayer and ask God to show you something you do not yet know about yourself.  Begin in confession and seek his help in removing the plank in your own eye.  Then begin to look at what steps he is calling you to walk.  Share with a close friend to help you.