life plan – Page 3 – Matthew Laker

True or False? You Can really be anything you want to be?

Posted on November 13, 2015November 9, 2015 by Matthew Laker

“You can be anything you want to be,” was one of the cultural beliefs I remember hearing throughout my school years. Today this idea still seems to be a basic foundational belief in our culture.

The reality is this is just simple not true.

When American Idol first came out, people believed they were going to be pop stars and no one could tell them differently. It is true though, that someone could be rejected in that setting and still have the strength and talent to become a pop star, but the reality is, many could not. At the end of the day, many people still pursue a dream that does not align with their strengths.

This is a hard lesson to learn and accept in our life. At the same time just because we get a rejection, does not mean the dream is over. We need to adjust, and work out of our strengths. Working out of our strengths will give us greater opportunity.

As a follower of Jesus I see a connection to one of Jesus’ parables where there is a master who gives a certain amount of money to three individuals. The expectation is they invest it and then they can succeed with it. One person is not greater than the other, but each is given an amount based on their strengths and ability. If they accept that reality and work from it they can experience God deeper and have wholeness in their life.

Tom Rath in his book “Strengths Finder 2.0” shares “you cannot be anything you want to be — but you can be a lot more of who you already are”(Rath 8).[1]

Many people in North America work to try and hold up an identity they believe will bring them success. Many of us run after a false identity for too long. As I have watched and journeyed with others, the reality is we cannot be anything we want to be, but we can still be successful.

I believe we have God-given strengths that are unique to every person. Yes there are commonalities in people, but if we can understand our strengths and play to them, we can find success in life.

The greatest barrier to this will be accepting reality and not idolizing a dream that is false. If we work out of our God-given strengths, a wholeness can take shape.

Here are a few questions for reflection:

1. What are your strengths?

2. Based on your strengths, and assuming you fan their flame, how will this effect the direction of your life?

3. What skills are you needing to develop?

4. What is one step you can take this week to build on your strengths?

You may have a dream that is just a dream. However working out of your strengths will help you enter, engage and experience wholeness in life.

[1] Rath, Tom. StrengthFinder 2.0. Gallup Press. Kindle Edition.

A Frist Step in Developing a Life Plan

Posted on November 11, 2015November 9, 2015 by Matthew Laker

In developing a life plan you need to identify the areas of your life that are important.

David Fiedler, a bicycling Expert, writes about the role of Bike spokes at about.com:

Bike spokes are “a key role in the transferring of the power from your legs to the rim to make the bike go. Enormous force gets applied to the hub of a rear wheel by the chain and gearing when you pedal down hard, and together the spokes carry the power that has gone from your legs to the chain then out to the wheel. That force driving the bike forward gets distributed among many spokes in a properly aligned wheel, which people usually describe as being “in true.” When you look at weight distribution, too, even under a very heavy load many spokes help spread out the weight so that it is more evenly carried and doesn’t put too much stress on any single spoke.”

In looking at a bike wheel, what if the spokes could be an illustration for your life? What if each spoke could represent an area of your life. As each area is working in the wheel, the wheel is able to properly roll and move you forward. You may not have as many spokes as a bike has, but if the spoke is not aligned right the wheel will not function correctly.

Picture your life like the wheel and the different areas of your life like the spokes. If you do not have direction in your life-spokes (the spoke is not aligned right), the wheel will not function to the best of its ability to get you moving forward.

What life-spokes do you need to get aligned in order for the wheel of your life to move forward? Such areas to look at could include: family, physical health, career, money, education, etc.

What do you want to accomplish in those life-spokes of life? As you understand your vision for each life-spoke, it is like aligning the wheel of your life so it can roll under the pressures, taking you from where you are to where you want to go.

For some, the wheel is falling under the pressure of life. You need to build up the spokes and get them aligned in order to get rolling.

The first step in building the spokes of the wheel is identifying them, just as the first step in building a life plan is identifying the important areas of your life.

Are you looking for help? Click here for an exercise.

How a Coach Can Help

Posted on November 9, 2015June 9, 2019 by Matthew Laker

There is something powerful that can happen in a guided conversation. In my experience, often just having someone listen and help me talk through where I am and what I need to do is of great value.

Today most often when we speak about coaches, we think about sports coaches. Historically the word “coach” itself comes from a horse drawn vehicle. Today, the concept has expanded to an understanding of a person who guides people from where they are to greater competence and the fulfillment they desire. For me, as a coach, I bring to the table a spiritual component, helping people not only reach what they desire, but helping them discover where God wants them to be.

A coach can help someone get unstuck in circumstances or seasons of life. A coach can help you figure out where you are and how to get to where you need to go. It really is the client that does most of the work, but the coach provides tools, often through the form of questions, to help an individual take steps to become unstuck.

Coaching can help with: ad for coaching 2015

building confidence
expanding one’s vision for the future
reaching an individual’s or organization’s dream
unlocking potential
increasing skills
moving through a transition
practical steps toward reaching goals

A coach does not address issues such as abuse, addiction, psychosis, or dysfunction. It is for the relatively healthy individuals who want to address a current challenge of where they are at and how they are going to get to where they want to be . It is important for the client to want and be willing to change in order to get the most out of the experience.

Coaches will focus more on strengths and current situations and moving forward. Coaching is a relationship that is client centered and goal directed. Each situation is unique, but most coaches will look to what the person wants to change, or areas they want to grow in. Many will work through the obstacles and create a plan to move forward, giving accountability along the journey.

A Coach is a partner that works to help you reach a goal. A coach is an advocate for you; they are someone looking out for you. A coach is a cheerleader, helping you celebrate wins and cheering you on. These are just a few ways a life coach can help you.

Below is a table to help understand the difference between coaching and other relationships.

Key Distinctions between Coaching and Other Relationships
	Who is the Expert?	Assumptions About the Other Person	Purpose of Questions	What is the Outcome?
Coaching	Person being coached	Healthy, ready to move forward	To promote discovery for the person being coached	New awareness and action
Counseling	Counselor	Pathology; has experienced a wound that continues to cause hurt	To provide a diagnosis and/or to better understand “why?”	Understanding and acceptance to promote healing
Mentoring	Mentor	Experiencing circumstances similar to those previously faced by the mentor	The one being mentored asks questions to solicit advice and gather information	The one who is mentored resembles the mentor in knowledge and action
Discipling	Discipler	A follower of Christ who wants to learn and grow	Often scripted or planned in advance, aimed at learning from Scripture	A clearer understanding of Scripture and closer walk with God

Time management a road to the life you want (Part 2)

Posted on November 4, 2015November 2, 2015 by Matthew Laker

Personal time Management will help you enter, engage, and experience what you were created for.

Today we continue on tips for time management in order to gain the life you want. You can read part one here.

To get where you want to in life, you are going to have to reflect and be a steward of the time you have. You only have so much time in your life.

How are you going to use the time you have been given?

1. Scheduling is your friend.

Either you control your life or something else well. I know right away some are saying I am just not a calendar person. Again, either you control your life or something else well.

Here are a few thoughts I find helpful around scheduling time.

a. Make sure to keep margin in your life. When booking appointments, give a little extra time. Why? Sometimes you may need it, but if not, enjoy the moment.

b. Schedule time with yourself and your family.

c. Keep 50% of your time involved in things that get the results you are wanting.

d. Schedule start and end times for your activities.

e. First 30 min. of day given to plan the day.

f. Schedule an extra 5 minutes for review of task completed or conversation at end of the hour or day.

g. Establishing a daily, month, weekly routine that will move you forward

h. ______________(What would you add?)

2. Reality Check Experiment

Spend a week recording everything you do. Put down the places you have been and the people you spoke with. Write down a summary of what you did each hour. This will help see where you are spending your time.

Here is a free spread sheet template. You can use it on your phone to help track your time.

3. It’s impossible to get everything done – live with it.

Seriously, it is impossible to get everything done. Take the time to understand how long you need and break things down into small chunks. It will lower your stress level. However at the end of the day understand there will always be something you need to do.

Celebrate what you have accomplished. What tips do you have that are useful?

Why Identifying Values is important.

Posted on November 2, 2015November 2, 2015 by Matthew Laker

Understanding our values can help us engage life.

What are values and how can understanding them help us better engage in life? Why are they important to know?

Values are the guidelines that help shape our goals and objectives in life. They are part of a source that helps bring fulfillment in our life.

Values affect all areas of our life. For example, how we use our time and to whom we spend our time with are all shaped by our values. Our values will play a major role in our decision making. They are part of our identity as individuals as well as every organization. .

Juan Carlos Jimenez shares: “When we truly believe that a set of behaviors constitute an essential cornerstone to life, we act accordingly, and don’t care what others say about it.”

For many, our values are formed in our early life as children. As we watch our guardians, we will often take on their worldview. As life moves forward we will be influenced and challenged by peers, which is not a bad thing. Experience can also shape our values. For example, if someone has a bad experience in a situation, it develops behavior in that person. Perhaps this has more to do with a natural protection of their self, but that experience creates a foundational belief and value in their life.

Values are foundational beliefs in our life that effect behavior. Values can be changed, but that is a hard road to walk. Change can occur as people honestly think about the implications of the things they stand for. Sometimes values will change because of new influences in one’s life. However changing those foundations takes work and time.

Often the greater challenge is our lived-out values compared to our stated values. They are not always the same.

It is good to spend some time reflecting on your values. As you do that ask yourself, why do you have that value? Why do you want to have, or live out , that value? We hold to values because of their benefit to us, so what benefit does it bring?

Values are the things that matter most to us.

When we understand them we begin to understand the things that drive us.

Understanding them will help us to be in a better position for ourselves to enter, engage, and experience life as we were created for.

Here is an exercise to help identify your values. Click here