Personal Benefits to Playing Board Games

Posted on February 12, 2016February 9, 2016 by Matthew Laker

Board and card games have been part of my life for a long time. Back in high school, I use to play “Axis and Allies” with a friend for hours on end. Growing up, there are a few games I remember well, like trying to set up “mouse trap”. To be honest, I do not remember much about the game, just my sister and I trying to put it together.

When I was dating my wife, we would go see my parents and often the weekend included games. When my wife and I went camping we would play “phase 10” for far too long. Now with our kids often Friday nights we play board games. In 2015, the game of choice for us was “Ticket to ride”.

It is fair to say board games are a big part of our family life. Thus, I have compiled a personal list of why I think we all should play board games. There is no scientific research, just my personal observation.

5 Personal Reasons you should play more Board games

1. Playing board games builds relationships.

A number of guys in a church I was a part of would get together from time to time to play board games. It was not some official church thing, just one guy called another and there we were. It was a great way to get to know people and build relationships. At the same time, I have watched in our family how it has helped build relationships with my kids and provided good family memories. Like when my wife would make me play “phase 10” so much that after the 15th game I gave in and would let her win. The trick is making her think she won. To be honest, it provides better space for conversation to happen. “If you want to get to know people, invite them over and play a game.

2. Playing board games engage our minds and mental health.

Games engage our brain and help work this muscle in different ways than perhaps take place in other areas of our life. Like any muscle that does not get exercised, it loses some ability. Games are great ways to help engage our minds. I have seen how they can relieve stress, boost creativity and I suspect that someone somewhere has research showing how it can improve brain function. As well, when you play with others, there are mental health benefits that come with community.

3. Playing board games help develop decision-making practices.

I have seen this more as I watch my kids, but it has made me start to think. Board games can help us learn to develop strategy and learn the skill of making decisions. In a way, it provides a safe place to learn and develop these skills. This is not just for kids though, I see crossover for adults to learn and become more confident in themselves.

4. Cutting the cord off the screen.

It is no secret that we are watching the screen more and more, in whatever form that may take in your life. There can be good and bad in that. However, if you are looking to decrease your screen time, consider board games with others.

5. Fun and play

I am realizing more and more as an adult we often stop playing. We need to enjoy life and play. There are so many benefits to other areas of life that come out of this.

Ok, so this is not scientific observations, but personal observations. I am not making money from any board game company. Though if any want to send my family a free game we are open to it. These are five observations I believe as to why you should play more board games in your life.

Do you have a favourite board game?

The Apostle Peter’s identity being challenged

Posted on October 30, 2015October 26, 2015 by Matthew Laker

Jesus declares, I will define who we are. “I will make you….” (Matthew 4:18-22).

When we watch the life of the Apostle Peter the more he understands who God is, the more he understands who he is.

Knowing God and knowing self are therefore interdependent” (The Gift of Being Yourself: The Sacred Call to Self-Discovery By David Benner.)

For Peter to find salvation and wholeness, he will have to walk away from the nets. However doing so is not an easy task as the nets are what have defined Peter for so long. Peter seems to have been a faithful Jew, a hard worker, and a family man. He most likely did not have an easy life, but things were average for him. His identity as a business man was as secure as it could be. Then Jesus challenges him to drop that old identity, his net, and follow him.

As we follow Jesus he is going to lead us to see our spiritual nakedness (Gen3), our true selves and our need for him.

In Luke 5:1-11, Peter’s response to Jesus is to recognize his need for Jesus and then challenges Peter’s identity. It was after raising the fish-filled nets up out of the water, that Peter runs to Jesus and shares that he is a sinner. He understands this about himself. However, as Jesus reveals more of himself to Peter, Peter moves from knowledge to experience. God wants us to be aware of our need for divine help. He wants to replace the fig leaves we grab to cover our nakedness (Gen.3:21) and give us real wholeness in our life. To do that we must see ourselves as Jesus see us.

When Jesus says to Peter, “I will make you….” (Matthew 4:18-22), Jesus declares to Peter, I will define who you are.

For us today the question becomes: will we cling to the old nets? Like Peter, will we let Jesus define us or will we let the things we do, or do not do, with our hands define us?

At times we place our self-value in what we have, what we can do and what others think of us. Yet Jesus calls us to walk away from that and drop the nets. Let him define us.

Jesus calls us to an identity that is grounded in our relationship to God the Father. Jesus came to restore our relationship with God the Father. It is as we understand who God is and what Jesus has done that we understand who we are and what we can do.

To go there we must step out of the boat and let go of things we have grabbed a hold of to define us and be honest with ourselves.

What nets do you hold on to that secure you in a false self?

Peter not only understands and comes to know God deeper but he begins to understand himself better, his true self. True self is only found in seeking and accepting God. There, Jesus declares, wholeness is found.

It is their fault or is the enemy closer?

Posted on July 8, 2015June 4, 2015 by Matthew Laker

Sometimes our own actions and attitudes are the greater enemy.

Yes, there is an enemy out there that is contributing to your problems. But, there is also an enemy that many of us are unwilling to consider.

There was an individual who once shared this story with me. ‘I was doing the dishes in our home and cleaning up. During this time I was getting upset with my spouse, and placing much blame. Then I asked myself the question, ‘What have I done to contribute to the situation? The individual added, ‘It was a sad realization though, of how much I was contributing to my own frustration, and bringing tension to the relationship.’

What if instead of searching out an enemy or blaming the enemy out there, we began to reflect on what “I” have done or are doing that has contributed to the perceived problem.

“There is in each of us a propensity to find someone or something outside ourselves to blame when things go wrong” The Fifth Discipline: The Art & Practice of The Learning Organization

We live in a time where we are very quick to blame others. Whenever there is a problem it is caused by the enemy out there. It is always someone else’s fault. Think about your relationships and when conflict comes, is your first thought they or I? When you have a business problem, is the first thought they or I?

At the beginning of the Biblical story we see Adam blaming Eve and Eve blaming the snake. We seem to try and transfer blame first, believing the enemy is out there.

We need to understand that the enemy is not always out there. We can perceive problems as externally caused, but what if our own actions and attitudes may be coming back to hurt us? I understand that sometimes we have done nothing to the enemy, and they are just lashing out at us and hurting us. However, I want to challenge the idea that it is someone else’s fault for how I reacted, or for my attitude.

This is important to understand because it can help defuse a heated argument. It can help us get unstuck and lead to personal growth. It can help your business by really understanding why something did not work out how you thought it should.

Understanding that the enemy is not always out there can lead to change that brings wholeness. Understanding that the enemy is not always out there can help you get out of the valley.

Some things to consider:

· Hit the Pause button – where can you take a deep breath and take steps back to see the full picture. This is self-evaluation.

Questions to ask:

How has your attitude contributed to the situation?
What actions have you taken that could have poured fuel on the fire?
Why do you think that person did that action or reacted in the way they did?
What attitudes and actions contributed to the problem?

Jesus put it this:

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3)

This was not to say that the fault lies with you and you alone. In a way he is saying the enemy is not always out there. He is calling Jesus followers to understand how similar you are to that other person. At the same time, there is a reality check that you may not be able to change that other person, even if you point out their sin. You can however change yourself, and if you are going to point out a weakness or sin in another, be humble to take correction yourself.

By understanding this and asking the above questions, and by correcting your own contributions to a situation, you can take steps to greater wholeness and life success.

Do you have any great self-evaluation question to ask?

Fatherhood and Time Management

Posted on May 27, 2015April 14, 2015 by Matthew Laker

As a dad, I often feel like I am being pulled in many directions. The reality is I cannot give 100% all the time in every direction and cannot be in all places.

One of the hardest things when a new child comes into a family is the new rhythms or schedules. Time management becomes even more important.

In my journey I went from zero kids to three in one day, and then we added another son eight years later. I knew because of already having kids, there were different seasons or rhythms. Life was always changing as the older three grew. My hardest part at times was prioritizing items on the “to-do”_ list. But, going back to diapers again was a big challenge to time management, among other things.

Here are a few things I have found helpful:

1. Review your values – What is important? You will find time for what is important. Sometimes we say something is important, but our calendar will reveal something else.

2. Use a calendar and establish routine. Block off time even dates nights with family and your spouse. There are two things that have been good for me. One, I block off Friday nights from 4 pm on as family nights. My kids know it is pizza night and we watch a movie, play board games or in the summer go out to a park. The second thing is that I let my wife have access to my calendar. She sees where my appointments are, and what I hope to be doing. She can also can add in appointments for our kids’ or family.

3. Interruptions are not always bad. – This is one I am still working at. This is life and sometimes the best things happen in interruptions. We need to have some room for margin in our life. We need to have some grace. Grace for ourselves, the kids and your spouse .

4. Get Sleep – You cannot burn the candle at both ends without it catching up to you. You need to find ways to get some sleep. If you just had a baby or have young kids, this is going to be really hard, and so you must work harder to find a good balance. . Getting enough sleep is important for many areas of life. (I read an interesting article by Travis Bradberry called “Sleep Deprivation Is Killing You and Your Career” @ http://www.entrepreneur.com/)

5. Pit crew – You need one person or a group you can check in with that can help you focus, see options and keep you going. Perhaps this could be a role for a coach or mentor to guide you.

6. Communication with your wife. – This will not be easy but you must work at it in order to help. You need to be honest, and give and take at times.

7. ________________________ – What about you? If you have a tip let me know. Post a comment, send me a tweet @Matthew_Laker or matthew@matthewlaker.com

What have you found helpful? Send me a tweet

Tips for Looking for God in My Life

Posted on January 14, 2015January 9, 2015 by Matthew Laker

Where is Jesus in my life? Do you find yourself wondering where God is in your journey? We all find our self in a season at times, where we struggle to see God leading us.

Looking for God in your life?

After service one day in the midst of a conversation someone shared with me. You know I really think the way God works today is in small ways. He shared we need to have eyes to see the small little L.E.D lights. The lights are God at work, and as you see them they start to light our path. They are God’s way of lighting your path. But you have have to have eyes to see.

This is some great wisdom from a fellow believer on the journey with us. So just where in your life have you seen the L.E.D lights? Over the last week, month, 3 months, six months, year, where have the L.E.D lights been found? Take a moment and write them down, where are you seeing God? Is it in that small conservation? Perhaps someone was able to give you the words to express yourself? Perhaps something unexpected? Still struggling to start a list, try writing out what you are thankful for. I am sure that will lead you to some L.E.D lights.

Here are four starting tips for looking for Jesus in our life.

1. Faith in Jesus

This is not a cop out. Seriously, you have to believe and understand that God is at work. Do you believe that God is great? If he is, then you do not have to be in control of everything. If we do not have faith that God is good enough, then we will look elsewhere for satisfaction. In a way faith is what helps us get through the long waiting time. It is like the oil the virgins carried or did not carry with them in Matthew 25. Faith is about trusting that God is leading your life. Faith is about following that call of God in your life. Sometimes we struggle to see him because we allow the waves to be greater than he is. We put more faith in something other than Jesus.

Make the choice today to trust Jesus.

2. Look for him.

Take a moment and look back. Where do you see the little L.E.D lights that are the God moments in your life? There is a good chance it was small, a conversation here, an impression to go left instead of right. Do you see it, along your journey? A conversation with a person, who just opened doors that were not there. Perhaps it was physical doors or doors inside of you. This is about asking the question, “Where am I seeing God at work?” Where is the kingdom of God or God pushing into your life? Why are you seeing this happen? Why is this happening? What are you going to do now?

Take a moment and write it down. Write down the God moments in your life.

3. Gathering with God’s community for Worship

I have watched people as they are going through challenging times. They gather with God’s people, and as we pray, sing and teach, God’s spirit softens their hearts. There is something about gathering with a healthy community of God’s people that can help bring proper perspective. For many, this is the only time to pause, and be still and know God. Our eyes begin to be opened to the L.E.D lights and we see the light on our path. As we gather with God’s people we will listen to the stories of others, and through their journey God will speak to us about our journey. Transformation takes place in community.

4. Spend time in God’s word

Psalm 119:105 “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path”

Let the Scriptures remind you about who God is and what he has done. As you understand and embrace that, you can then understand who you are and understand the path you are to walk.

Do you find yourself looking for Jesus in your life? Try these four rhythms to see the L.E.D. lights.