Teaching my preteens to set goals

Teaching my preteens to set goals

Posted on by Matthew Laker

This year once again, I took the lead to guide my kids through some goal setting of their own. I had talked with them over the Christmas break about establishing the pattern of setting goals again. In the past, I have done this but stopped the last two years.  No real reason just dropped it, but I kept doing my yearly goals and realized I stopped leading them.  

This year (2020), I was determined to help teach them again about goal setting and thinking about what do they want out of life. So I took it slow and did not force them. I shared hey I am working on some new goals for the year ahead, what about you. 

I asked questions like 

What would be something you want to see happen in your life?  

What would make it a good year for you? 

 Where is an area you could grow in your life? 

Now it helped because we had done this when they were younger.  We would take the goals and put them up on the wall for the year. Then as they reached the goal, we would check it off and celebrate. I remember the one year one of my girls wanted to go to WonderLand (that is an amusement park in the area).  The celebration was going.

I think because we had done this in the past, it made it easier to pick back up. For about two weeks, I would bring it up at the supper table, “how are your goals coming? What are you thinking about setting?” 

I asked does anyone need help in setting and figuring out your goals. My one daughter asked for help, so I sat down with her to figure them out. 

We had a date in which everyone in the family would share their goals. Now I did not share all my work goals, but some of my habit goals and let them know there were others for work.

The night came. We had gone to a movie that afternoon together (a tradition over the Christmas break), then picked up pizza for home after. As we sat around the table, I invited everyone to share.  

We talked about what would need to happen to reach those goals and how Mom and Dad could help them. Those goals will now go up on the wall so that they can see them every day.  

I wish in my life I could have learned the power of goals and setting direction earlier. It is a skill we can pass to our kids. It can help them gain small wins, and I promise you as a parent, it is a great moment when you can watch your child check off reaching one of those goals. 

Give it a try to ask your kids, what would make a good year for them? What are the things they want to do over the year?   

Helping them build good habits and gain small wins will build confidence in themselves. 

Stupid things we do

Stupid things we do

Posted on by Matthew Laker

I was listening to a part of a talk by Jordan Peterson. He gave a great question that we need to ask now and then.  

“What remarkable stupid things am I doing on a regular basis to absolutely screw up my life.”

-Jordan Peterson

My experience has been most of us do not take a look at our life and take responsibility for our choices. Too often, we blame other people and forget the power that we do have. 

Remember your habits and attitude as you look at establishing your goals and creating a plan to reach them.   Remember, your habits and your attitude are where the power is that will direct your life.  

It is about what we choose. We often fail to recognize what we are getting from the thing that is not good for us. It is meeting a need, even if it does not push us in the direction we want. 

So what is one stupid thing that you are doing that is screwing up your life that you will begin to change and create a new habit.  

Your habits help build a strong bridge to where we want to go?

Why do you need to change this?

What rhythm do you need to develop to move into a new habit?

Happy New. 

A Plan For A Personal 90-Day Goal Review

A Plan For A Personal 90-Day Goal Review

Posted on by Matthew Laker

90-day goal-setting is one of the great tools that have helped me in my life. It is not too long to procrastinate, though that is still possible. It is also short, so I have to get going at it. 90-day goals have helped me reach my yearly goals.

Here is a 10 step plan to do your 90-day review time.

Pre-review time

  1. Schedule the time with a little margin on both ends
  2. Set the location?

During time

3. What are you most excited about from the last 90 days?

4. How did I recharge over the past 90 days?

5. Review my past 90 day goals

a)What were they?

b) How far did I get?

c)What is left to do?

6. What pivot should happen to my yearly goals? (if no annual goals skip ahead)

7. What are my next 90 day goals?

8. What are the action steps for each of those goals?

9. Calendar time – Schedule, book and review the calendar.

10. Go for a walk

What have you found helpful to you? What is your most significant obstacle in a 90-day goal review?

4 Rhythms to Strengthen personal productivity – part 5

4 Rhythms to Strengthen personal productivity – part 5

Posted on by Matthew Laker

Yearly planning is not something that comes naturally to most people.  We all know the challenges that come with setting yearly goals and keeping them.   In my life, I have found the quarterly reviews to help me in keeping track with my goals.  In this post, I will share my yearly review in regards to my personal productivity.

A significant part of my productivity system involves a yearly review.  For me, this includes both a looking forward and a looking back. It helps to look back and understand in order to move forward.  

Here is the framework I work through during this time.


  1. Put it in the calendar.  Plan for a time to pull away for a half or full day (some times more) – You have to put it in the calendar like an appointment and make it happen.  I like to take two days away. It may seem like a lot for some. But I try to incorporate some rest and getting away can help me think. The key is finding a place and time where you can think.  

2. Prepare – About a month out by writing down ideas and thinking about what I would like to accomplish in the year ahead.  If you have a partner or a business partner, it may be wise to get input from them or do to this together.

3. Reflect upon the past year –  during this time away; I spend some time looking back.  Using my goals from last year, I look at what I did, and what did I not do.  I reflect upon my relationships and overall, how do I feel the year went. I take some time to write out things I am thankful for and lessons learned.  Because I have quarterly reviews, I use those notes and my day planner to help look back.

4. Set goals for the new year  – I ask myself the question of what needs to happen and or want do I want to do. I work to narrow it down to 6-10 goals for the year.  These are a mixture of both personal and professional goals. Once I am settled on the goals, I begin to think about steps that are needed to get those goals done.   I have found it helpful to have breaks and do something else then come back with a fresh mind. Sometimes this is why I will take two days away. One could also come back to them in a week to review, which I have also done.  

In setting, goals do not just limit to your work or professional life.  Think with a wholeness mindset, what about your relationship with close friends or family, or your financial goals, or around the house.  

For some, the yearly goals could come out of a life plan that they have put together.  

Here are two resources regarding a life plan can be read here.

How a life plan can help
A first step in developing a life plan

The setting of yearly goals can be a great help in our life.  This is not about accomplishing more in one’s life, that may be a side effect.  However, this is about being intentional with one’s life and finding focus.

If you are ready to get intentional with finding focus or wanting to strengthen your personal productivity system.  I can help you with that.

Having someone who we can talk through where we are at and what needs to happen next can bring great focus in our life.  Are you feeling scattered and all over the place, let me help you gain focus, and develop a system to keep that focus.


Do you do a yearly review in your life?  What have you found helpful?