habits – Matthew Laker

Weekly sit down – Family Routine

Posted on January 24, 2020January 24, 2020 by Matthew Laker

Weekly sit down – Family Routine

What is one thing you are doing right now that is not helping your family or life succeed?

What systems do you have in your family home to keep your family on track and help with communication?

There are two habits that my wife and I work at that seem to be helping stay focused.

First, both of us, at times, would be frustrated with the other because of perceived unsuspected appointments or meetings. Many times the one with the meeting (me) new about it, but my wife also wanted to do something else. At times I as well got frustrated at going here and there and wanted to try and think more strategic with or coming and going. One of my reason for that was to allow my day off to be just that. I hated days off that I was running here and there.

The first habit we started was using google calendar together. We gave access to each other’s digital calendar so that we could see what the other one had planned or needed to be. It helped, for example, with things like booking dentist appointments and who could take one of our kids. We still have our bumps, but it has proved helpful.

The Second habit that I requested was weekly meetings where we go through our week. I was struggling with the unexpected trips here and there and trying to get better at planning our week. The other piece this was it gave us space to talk.

We try about the same time each week to meet. There are four things we do at this time.

We walk through the week ahead. Literal, we look at each day and where we will be and what needs to happen. We talk about who is taking a kid here or there or when will I be home.
We meal plan. This was not part of the original plan, but we added, and we work better when we have a meal plan for the week. There are so many benefits to meal planning. For us, this means writing down what we will eat each night for meals.
We have space to talk about life. Some times we are just at the kitchen table. Other times we leave the kids and grab a coffee together, and it has been a good experience for us.

As we look to enter, engage, experience the life we were created for, that does not come at the expense of our relationships. Relationships are essential to success in life.

What about you?

What is something you can do to help your family succeed?

Having a weekly sit down helps me define my focus for the week and what

Stupid things we do

Posted on January 3, 2020January 3, 2020 by Matthew Laker

I was listening to a part of a talk by Jordan Peterson. He gave a great question that we need to ask now and then.

“What remarkable stupid things am I doing on a regular basis to absolutely screw up my life.”
-Jordan Peterson

My experience has been most of us do not take a look at our life and take responsibility for our choices. Too often, we blame other people and forget the power that we do have.

Remember your habits and attitude as you look at establishing your goals and creating a plan to reach them. Remember, your habits and your attitude are where the power is that will direct your life.

It is about what we choose. We often fail to recognize what we are getting from the thing that is not good for us. It is meeting a need, even if it does not push us in the direction we want.

So what is one stupid thing that you are doing that is screwing up your life that you will begin to change and create a new habit.

Your habits help build a strong bridge to where we want to go?

Why do you need to change this?

What rhythm do you need to develop to move into a new habit?

Happy New.

Worry less about motivation and think habits

Posted on November 26, 2019November 26, 2019 by Matthew Laker

I have been thinking about motivation. How do we find it? Do we need it? What is the definition of motivation?

The dictionary definition of motivation carries with it the idea of our reason or why that pushes us forward.

One might ask what motivated them to do that? A good question as it gets to the why of a movement.

In everyday conversation, however, some might say I need to find the motivation to get this done. As if it is like some extraordinary power out there, we need to drum up. But what if that is the wrong road?

Now hear me finding the why to our goal or task I believe to be necessary. Any time I sit down with someone to help them develop goals, often I will ask why is that important?

I am wondering what if it is less about finding motivation, and has more to do with developing habits and rhythms and routines that lead to the goal we want to reach.

I suspect for many people. It is in the routine or rhythms of life that distract us and take us off course. It is not an easy task to develop a new habit or to do something a different way. Many times it can hurt, at least in the short term.

As I write this, I am wondering what if it is habits that lead to motivation. An object can sit still and never move, but an object in motion generally stays that way. There is even the possibility it can increase. A question we most likely need to ask is short term routine do I need to change or adapt or schedule to start to move me in a direction.

At this point, I am wondering, so how do I make the starting point easier?

This idea also means I do not sit around for something to inspire me, I know my reason, and so schedule a habit.

I may have to work through my obstacles, but those are not there because of a lack of motivation.

What are one or two habits over the next 30 days you need to implement to reach your goal?

What do you think? Is it motivation or habits?

Children, our Business and our Bad Habits

Posted on August 15, 2019August 15, 2019 by Matthew Laker

I was reading the book “Boundaries with Kids” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

The book is about parenting. Most of us parents pick up these type of books because we want to fix something or prevent something.

For me, it was more the first and to be a better parent. As a Dad, I feel pulled in many directions and wonder each new season how to do it.

The book talks about helping your child learn boundaries and how this, in turn, develops them.

As I read the book, one theme keeps coming up amongst all the pages. This theme was parenting first has more to do with you the parent then the child.

The catch is if you struggle with boundaries, guess what, so do your kids.

You want your kids to develop healthy habits and boundaries. It starts with you, the parent.

This is both encouraging and disappointing as a parent.

It means you have options. Parenting starts by working on your own heart and habits and building boundaries.

When we think about those, we are leading and influencing. If we want your children or business to improve, it starts with “I.” How we react, how we live and do. We lead by example.

Where have your kids become a reflection of your bad habits?

Where has your business become a reflection of your bad habits?

A Life plan: Admitting your reality

Posted on November 16, 2015November 16, 2015 by Matthew Laker

A personal review is a foundational step to growth.

If you are going to embrace, enter, and engage the life you were created for– if you are to discover a life of wholeness–it is going to involve looking at reality. To do that you will need to hit the pause button and take a look at your life in review.

Jesus shares, “how can you think of saying, ‘Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye” (Luke 6:42 NLT).

In that passage, Jesus is speaking about how we interact with others and judge them without seeing our own sin first. There is a reminder in this statement that we are both in need of God’s grace, but to find it we must admit our own sin first. It is in this passage that we also learn the value of admitting our own reality.

I was watching a season of reruns of ‘Kitchen Nightmares’ and noticed that the same thing happens in every episode: the food is bad and there are organizational issues everywhere. However, the biggest issues are the people refusing to look at the plank in their eye. Often they refuse to admit reality.

In any development of a life plan, part of that plan will involve understanding your current reality. Not only the circumstances but understanding who you are. How are you thinking and feeling? How are your thinking and habits are leading and contributing to where you are right now?

For many to admit their reality they are going to have to admit and identify the plank that is in their eye.

At the end of the year, it is common for people to set goals and New Year’s resolutions. Many of them fail because they are done on a whim and people do not really want to change.

If you are serious about wanting to change, you need to develop a plan and get help to work that plan. A good place to start is by reviewing your year.

Each December I sit down and do a review. I set aside some space with no distractions. I then take a mental walk through a reflection exercise of different areas of my life, asking where am I at.

Here are four questions to help you in such an exercise.

1. What can I celebrate in my life this past year?

2. What would I like to see changed? What is God asking me to change?

3. What were my obstacles this year?

4. What would I like to see changed next year.

Next Step: Get out your calendar and block off some time to take a review and create a game plan for the New Year.